


Rules

by Symph95



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Fluff, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symph95/pseuds/Symph95
Summary: Akaashi made rules to cover up his secret, but ended up breaking every single one because of a star.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 50
Kudos: 284





	1. Rule #1: Never stare too much at a guy

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello there, how is everyone doing? This little diddy, if you haven't seen already has a lot of spoilers for the Haikyuu manga with the final arc and Bokuto and Akaashi's backstories so please be warned! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy :D

Moving was supposed to be Akaashi’s second chance at life. A fresh start at the end of summer where everything would be _new_. A new school, a new team, a new chance where he could be anything he wanted. And now he had his rules to ensure that this time would be different. His experience in Kyushu would not be repeated in Tokyo, and he’d have a real team now. 

But the world didn’t seem to understand that as he stood apart from his volleyball club with his only company being a phone and a contact hundreds of miles away. Even though they were months into the school year, and had played many matches, Akaashi was certain that the people surrounding him only knew him by his position. Their jokes seemed much more entertaining than the setter from Kyushu whose face was a board. 

The lobby around him was packed, people from all over Tokyo coming to play in the tournament. On one side of the gymnasium were the high school matches and on the other were his own middle school games. His coach had forced them into the crossroads between them claiming that seeing the high school sets would inspire their own, but when Akaashi looked at his teammates the thing that seemed to inspire them the most was the gaming console pulled out between matches. Currently everyone was gathered around it.

Akaashi hung back from the other students. In his hands, his phone buzzed, and he glanced down at the screen, half wanting to toss it back in his bag. With a sigh, his fingers forced themselves to swipe it open. 

**Hey have you finished the math homework yet?**

**Yeah, I’ll send it to you in a second.**

**Youre the best :D**

Akaashi’s fingers twisted together as he dug out the assignment he had finished during their team breakfast. No one had paid him so much as a glance, opting to talk to each other, even though he wished one of them had helped him with the last problem. 

He held up the sheet and snapped a photo before frowning. The edges were blurred. Sighing, he took another photo, then another. Finally after the fifth picture, he considered it clear enough and sent it.

As he went to put his phone away, he felt it ding again in his hands.

**Thanks**

**Arent you at a tournament now?**

**Yes, but it’s my last one.**

**Oh youre quitting once you go to Suzumeoka?**

**Yes.**

**I wont see you at tournaments then :(**

Akaashi pocketed his phone and let a wall fall over his face, shutting down the discomfort creeping over his back.

“Now come on everyone stay together, we’re almost to the gym,” the team’s coach said. “Make sure you guys pay attention!”

His only response was an explosion from the video game.

Akaashi sighed. 

Their coach continued to try encouraging the group across the room, but they ambled on slowly. Akaashi dragged his feet in the back. He kept his head down, not bothering to offer any words to his teammates. Silence would be his only answer anyway.

As he made his way through the crowd, Akaashi heard a voice breaking through the conversations. Exclamations from the TV sounded over the gymnasium lobby drawing the attention of nearby players. With the spirits of volleyball at an all time high, the screen was flipped to a channel broadcasting a national match between the MSBY Black Jackals and Schweiden Alders. They were in the first set of the game and the setter of the Black Jackals dropped the ball on the other side of the net, making a clean dump.

Akaashi stared at the way the setter’s teammates crowded around him, slapping his back. A team. That’s what they were. The only thing Akaashi felt on his back was a sharp stinging as the person next to him spoke.

“Hey isn’t that setter the one who kissed the guy?”

“Yeah the one who has a boyfriend.”

“Ew, why do they still let him play? Imagine having a guy like that on your team.”

“And he’d be constantly checking you out? That’s _disgusting._ ”

Akaashi’s fingers twisted together. He felt a piece of his wall slip, but stared down, carefully rising his scowling lips to a neutral position. Wading through the people around him, he kept his head down and stuck to the outskirts of his team.

He reminded himself of his rules. The ones that would keep him safe. The ones that would keep their suspicions away. The ones that would keep last time from repeating. 

_Rule number one: never stare too much at a guy._

_Rule number two: never express too much affection._

_Rule number three: never openly talk about gay people._

_Rule number four: never be fully open with anyone._

_Rule number five: never let anyone find out you’re gay._

_Rule number six: never tell anyone you’re gay._

_Rule number seven: never confess._

“Akaashi!” the coach’s voice called over the crowd. “Akaashi where are you?”

“Here.” Akaashi said. He hadn’t realized how far he had gone. 

He waded through the crowd back towards his team. The coach was the only one who glanced at him. No matter how much he looked around, the students from his middle school wouldn’t even bother with any sort of eye contact. The ground became his friend again.

“Alright everyone we’re going in now. Don’t get lost.”

Entering the gym, Akaashi noticed that the stands were filled with more people than his own matches. He even saw cheer sections sitting in rafters each behind their respective teams. On Fukurodani’s side a band played, their conductor waving his arms on each beat. The cheerleaders behind them did a small routine. 

“Okay everyone, we're going to go up to the bleachers first. Make sure to watch the game.” A murmur ran through the students and the game console was pocketed for the time being. 

“Let’s try to get some seats next to the band,” one teammate said as they started making their way across the edge of the court. “Those cheerleaders look really pretty.”

“Did you see those team managers though? Maybe I’ll go to Fukurodani.”

Akaashi began twisting his fingers again. His eyes stared down at the ground as he sighed. Behind him, he dragged his feet hoping that the clock would move faster so he could be out of the gym. 

“Give me the next one!”

Akaashi’s head snapped up at the loud voice beside him. He looked over, and, only a few feet away from him, a boy with a face shining with sweat and muscles rippling flew through the air. The rest of the gym fell away as light funneled around him casting a spotlight on him. 

_A star._

Akaashi’s hands fell from each other as the boy slammed the ball through the three blockers in front of him.

“All right!” The boy said. He pumped his hands in the air turning to his team and smacking their hands against his. If it hadn’t been the middle of the set, Akaashi was certain they would’ve lifted him up. 

“To think he’s just a first year,” a player standing beside Akaashi said. “He doesn’t seem like one at all.”

Akaashi stared, entranced by the grin on his face and spring in his step. He couldn’t look away as the boy took the ball for his serve. Throwing the ball in the air, he jumped, smashing it into the other side of the court. A perfect service ace.

 _Bokuto,_ Akaashi read across the boy’s back. His smile twitched in tandem with the grin on the other’s face.

“Akaashi come on. The bleachers are going to be full if you keep standing there.”

“R-right!”

As Akaashi made his way across the edge of the court, his eyes were trained on Bokuto. He kept grinning while running up and down the court, shouting for the ball. Every call he made resulted in the slam of his shoes against the floor and a second later he would fly. The wall in front him collapsed within the blink of an eye.

Up in the bleachers, the whole gym floor was laid before Akaashi. Even with the twelve players, he only followed one. Every play that went by felt like water splashing against his face. 

The sheer energy Bokuto threw into the atmosphere riled up the whole gym. His teammates ran faster, jumper higher, and played harder than Akaashi had ever seen on a high school team. They dove ball after ball and hit each through blocks stronger than iron. Even the band’s volume grew every second. And Akaashi couldn’t help but stare. 

Who played like that?

The end of the set came quickly, and at their match point, the ball was bumped by a tall player to Bokuto. He assessed the blockers in front of him, two closing in, but when he went up to spike his approach was off and the ball got caught, falling to his side of the court. Letting out a curse his hands tore through his hair. But his teammate slapped his back, and when the ball came again, he was there smashing it through the same blockers, his approach flawless. The court filled with his cheers. 

Free, Akaashi realized. He played so freely.

Akaashi hummed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Around him, only half his teammates were watching the match. The others were either staring at the cheerleaders next to them or the gaming console.

And then there was him, watching the star of the show. 

The game ended far too quickly for Akaashi’s liking. Fukurodani and Bokuto effectively blew out the other team in a 25/20, 25/18 match. As the team went off the court, Akaashi was still watching Bokuto. He talked with his teammate, throwing out his hands and shouting at the top of his lungs.

“Wow.” Akaashi muttered under his breath.

“Seems like you enjoyed yourself,” A voice made him jump. He looked up to see his coach behind him.

Akaashi twisted his fingers again. He let a wall fall over his smile. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Maybe enough to continue?” his coach said.“Ah, what am I saying, it’s probably too late to change your mind about volleyball now.”

“No,” Akaashi said. “That was fun. And I…”

On the edges of the court Bokuto was still talking loudly, surrounded by a team that laughed with him. 

“I want to play at Fukurodani.”


	2. Rule #2: Never Show Too Much Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there, I hope everyone is doing well! I decided to update a little earlier, and I *might* try updating twice a week. We'll see though. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this :D

The three gongs of the school bell rang as the clock took its sweet time to hit the three pm mark. The sound disappeared under the wave of students hustling out of their classrooms, talking with friends, and stressing about the year to come.

Akaashi’s hands shook as he zipped up his backpack. His phone sat on the table, silent, but as soon as he picked it up, it vibrated. The buzz tugged the device from his grip. Somehow he managed to hold onto it long enough for his other hand to support it.

Taking in a breath, Akaashi forced his eyes upon the message. His fingers urged to twist together.

**How’s your first day?**

Akaashi stared at his bag, tempted to unzip it and throw the texts away. 

_ If you don’t do what I say… _

His back flared in warning.

**Good.**

**Cool would you mind doing me a favor?**

**Sure.**

**I need you to text Yashiro**

Akaashi’s eyes narrowed. Hadn’t they stopped speaking? She had texted him earlier in the year about their break up. 

**What do you need me to say?**

**Tell her that if she doesn’t hook back up with me then there is going to be some unfortunate information leaked.**

His fingers urged to twist together. Swallowing, he kept them steady as he hit the phone screen.

**Alright.**

**Thanks I knew I could trust you :D**

Akaashi threw his phone back in his bag.

Sighing, he looked up at the clock and jolted at the time. A second later he was hurrying through the hallways, but quickly his surroundings became unknown. When he started to see people who were whole heads taller than anyone in his class, he stopped walking.

Pulling his bag over his shoulder, he checked to see if there was a map of the school. All he found, however, were assignments handed out earlier that day.

“Are you lost?” Someone called from over his shoulder. Akaashi turned, straightening.

“Y-yes. Sorry to trouble you.”

The boy ambled forwards, looking down a few centimeters to Akaashi’s eyes. His lips pulled back into a smirk as he assessed Akaashi. His upperclassmen’s stare made his fingers twist together. 

“No problem. It’s your first day right?”

Akaashi nodded.

“You trying to head to the volleyball courts?”

“Yeah, how—”

“Your bag. Volleyball shoes, right?”

Glancing down, Akaashi saw his white and yellow shoes hanging out.

“Oh yeah.”

“C’mon let's get moving before we’re late.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’m going there anyway.”

Akaashi looked over his upperclassmen, checking to see if there was any air of familiarity to him. He vaguely appeared in his mind, a bench warmer with the other first year. Yet, his figure seemed to be lost under the shine of the main court and the slamming of the ball louder than it had ever been before.

“So you’re a first year, right?”

Akaashi nodded, a small grin trickling over the other’s face.

“What’s your name?”

“Akaashi Keiji.”

“Mine’s Konoha Akinori. How long have you been playing?”

“Since third grade.”

Konoha nodded. After walking a few paces, he titled his head towards the windows. Akaashi followed his gaze, spotting the gym coming into view. His hands began twisting together again. 

“There she is,” Konoha said. “Your new home for the next three years.”

Akaashi blinked, taking a second look at it before his eyes found Konoha’s. They glowed under the sun’s rays with a grin pressed against his face. Turning his attention to the floor, Akaashi looked away. 

“I guess.” He said. 

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic about that.” 

“I’ve never really had that atmosphere before.”

“Oh,” Konoha blinked. “Well I’m sure you’ll find it here in no time if that annoying brat has anything to do about it.” He shook his head and laughed to himself. Akaashi saw the star reeling through his mind again. 

“A word of advice,” Konoha said. “If Bokuto approaches you, run away. His chill level and brain power are zero.”

Akaashi frowned and scratched the tips of his ears. “Okay.”

The two soon approached the gym; the sound of spikes and serves resonated throughout the air. 

“Looks like they’re already here,” Konoha said. “They probably started. Don’t worry Coach Yamiji won’t be too strict. Yet.”

Akaashi looked up at him, narrowing his eyes. 

Konoha strode through the doorway while calling out to his team, but Akaashi stayed back, fingers twisting together. His eyes lingered on the entrance, glancing back at the schoolyard before he sucked in a breath, gave one final twist of his fingers and stepped inside.

The first thing he noticed about the gym was the vast expanse of it. The domed roof stretched high into the air leaving plenty of room for balls to fly through the air. The next thing he noticed was that, unlike his previous schools, there were two courts sitting right next to each other, both in use. 

“Really Konoha? It’s your first day and you’re already late?” Said a guy with black hair collecting a ball by the door. “Seriously, Coach is going to chew you out.” But as soon as Akaashi stepped out from behind Konoha, his face eased.

“I was showing our underclassmen how to get to the gym.”

Akaashi startled and gave a small bow to the boy. 

“I-I’m sorry for being late.”

The other’s face froze for a second before blinking and grinning. “It’s no problem! It’s your first day after all. I think some of the other underclassmen are still finding their way. You’re the first one here actually.”

“I believe he’s the only one who signed up this year.” A boy with brown hair said, receiving the ball cleanly to his partner, who missed it terribly. “Hey make sure you get under the ball and don’t just swing your arms all willy nilly.”

Akaashi twisted his hands as the eyes of three upperclassmen gazed upon him. He looked down, hoping they would find him uninteresting and move on with their drills. But the new piece of evidence seemed to make him stick out like a sore thumb.

His hands trembled between one another. 

“Oh he’s here,” a booming voice called through the gym as a grey haired man walked towards the door. “Got lost on your first day, huh?”

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Akaashi gave a small bow, seeing the word coach printed on the other’s jacket.

Coach Yamiji chuckled. “Don’t worry you’re not as bad as some of the others. Now go get changed so we can get introductions done.”

Despite being shown the club room where everyone changed, Akaashi opted instead to change in the bathroom by the gyms. He rushed quickly into the gym afterwards, finding everyone already lined up. 

The third years were the first to introduce themselves. There were four of them: two middle blockers, an opposite hitter, and a setter. Each had quite a bit of a build to them. Their sweat glowed under the fluorescent lights and they smiled in an equally bright fashion. In addition to them was one manager, a girl with a tight brown bun and kind eyes. 

The second years were next to go. Konoha introduced himself first, then the black-haired boy from before, Washio Tatsuki. After him the short brown-haired boy said his name was Komi Haruki, and his passing partner, Sarukui Yamato. There were also the two managers, Yukie Shirofuku and Kaori Suzumeda. 

Time seemed to stop after they stepped back and the spotlight fell on the boy who brought Akaashi here in the first place. 

The star.

“My name is Bokuto Koutarou. I play outside hitter. It’s great to meet you.”

Akaashi’s eyes lingered on him even as he stepped back into the crowd of second years who chatted amongst themselves. Their conversations continued without a hitch as they engulfed Bokuto. He talked to the people next to him, but they spoke louder with one another.

“And you are?” Coach Yamiji prompted. Akaashi startled, glancing over the waiting crowd of students. His heart rate tripled and he sucked in a breath, telling himself they hadn’t noticed.

“I am Akaashi Keiji, from Mori Middle School. I played setter. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

The crowd murmured a nice to meet you, before the head coach clapped his hands sending the group off into passing drills. Konoha looped his arm through Akaashi’s, tugging him along towards the other side of the gym. 

Akaashi stared at the biceps twined around him and felt the urge to pull away. His face began heating up, and he glanced around making sure no one saw him. Taking a second, he stared at the wall until he was sure lines chiseled his face into a blank expression. 

_ Rule number two, never express too much affection.  _

His wall covered anything unnecessary. 

Their drills went by quickly, the practice cut shorter than usual, at least by the upperclassmen’s standards, as it was their first day. Soon everyone was cleaning up, bags organized, balls collected, and floors cleaned.

Akaashi kept his head down while he mopped at the ground glinting with sweat. Around him chatter hung through the air and echoed throughout the gym. Small groups stood talking to one another in low hushed tones. He sped right past them. 

“Hey,” a voice said, catching Akaashi off guard and making him startle. “Uhh, Akashi-kun.”

Glancing up, he saw Bokuto standing before him, hands tucked behind his back and a light smile pressed against his lips. He felt his hands urge to twist together, but kept his face calm and stared on with blank eyes.

“It’s Akaashi.”

Bokuto nodded, but Akaashi got the sense he didn’t really process what he said. “Could you help me practice spikes for just a little bit?”

In the corner of the room, there was still one basket of balls pulled near the courts. Akaashi glanced between Bokuto and the basket. As he looked back, he caught Konoha’s gaze and the small shake of his head.

A ‘no’ formed on the tip of his tongue, but when the light caught Bokuto’s face, grinning yet with something hiding underneath the surface, he hesitated. Suddenly, he saw him in that match again, running over the court like he owned the place.

“Sure.”

“Sweet! C’mon let’s go!” Bokuto pumped his fists in the air, almost sprinting to the court.

Akaashi’s gaze found Konoha’s before looking away. Was he being too obvious? Did he know? His fingers wanted to twist together.

  
  


The open door was shrouded with darkness by the time Bokuto seemed to be wearing down. His breaths were uneven, small gasps for air as he fell back to earth after the ball slammed against the other side of the court.

Meanwhile, Akaashi bent over himself gulping as much air as his lungs could take. His heart battered against his chest as tight pain twinged his fingers and sides. Sweat cascaded down his forehead pooling onto the floorboards he had earlier mopped. 

_ What part of this is ‘a little bit’,  _ he thought, trying desperately to catch his breath. 

“Nice,” he said, sucking in another labored breath.“Kill.” 

“Akashi!” Bokuto said. 

“It’s Akaashi.

“Your tosses are the best!”

When he looked up, a grin overtook Bokuto’s face. The world seemed to stop in that moment, his breath catching and not from setting the ball for the thousandth time. The lights overhead were brighter than before, illuminating Bokuto as though a spotlight was pointed on him. Akaashi’s hands stopped twitching.

Akaashi forced himself to look at the wall, easing every muscle down, down, down until his face rested to neutral. His heart tripled in beating and he squashed every urge to smile. He let the first compliment he had received in years slide past his shell. The only acknowledgment he allowed was for his eyes to blink.

“Ah, sure.”

“Could you sound a little more fired up?”

“I’m sorry.”

Bokuto cocked his head to the side and Akaashi’s ears burned as he stared at him. He twisted his fingers together, wincing as soreness cut into them. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Just don’t be a wooden board, Akashi.”

Akaashi’s eyebrow twitched as his lips curved downward. “It’s Akaashi.”

“Akashi?”

“No Akaashi.”

“Akaeshi?”

“Akaashi.”

“Akaaaashi?”

“Close enough.”

The two began moving to put everything away. Akaashi kept his head down as Bokuto continued talking, but kept glancing up whenever he commented on the supposed ‘amazingness’ of his tosses. 

“You’re really good, good enough to be a starter. Wait, that would mean you can toss to me every game! We’d be unstoppable.”

Akaashi blinked again, not saying a word as his heart swelled in his chest. He heaved out a sigh to control it and grabbed the ball next to him.

Glancing up at the clock after finally putting the basket away, he read it as 9:45. Practice was let out at 6:30. 

Bokuto’s grin was still plastered on his face as the two stepped outside, locking the door behind him.

“I’m so pumped for this year ‘cause it’s definitely going to the best one yet. And we’re going to go to nationals again, I’m sure of it.” 

“That would be ideal.” 

Bokuto stared at him. Akaashi jolted under his gaze, forcing down his face as Bokuto drew closer.  
“So you can speak more than two words! Here I was thinking that all our practices would just be silent.”

Akaashi blinked. “Practices?”

“Yeah, we’re going to do this again right?” Bokuto’s eyes were steady, but Akaashi could see a sort of longing in them, like a plea. He remembered back to earlier when the third and second years avoided all his requests..

“That’s fine.”

“Isn’t that Akasashi?”

Akaashi startled, almost dropping his phone as he held it over his notebook. His friend’s math puzzle homework was scrawled over the page, with a pair scissors sitting next to it. He panicked, snapping a photo quickly and sending the text praying that it would be tangible enough for copying. 

Hiding the phone under the table and shoving his scissors into his bag, he glanced up seeing his two upperclassmen leaning against the door to his class. 

“Hello Komi, Konoha,” Akaashi said. 

“Hey didn’t know you were in class 5?” Komi said. “Our underclassman is  _ so  _ smart.”

“Talented too,” Konoha nodded. “You’re going to be starting in our practice match next week, right?”

Akaashi’s face grew hot and underneath his desk, his hands twisted together. “Yeah. It’s only because I’ve been practicing.” 

“With Bokuto right?” Komi asked.

Akaashi nodded, smiling faintly. Two and half hours a night and his tosses were improving far beyond that of what they used to be.

“Hey if you ever need a break from Bokuto, just say the word! I won’t swap places with you, but I’ll help you think of excuses.” Konoha said.

“Aw you’re not even going to swap out for him?”

“Ah, I’m okay. It’s fun for me to play to be able to practice with a star player.”

Konoha did a double take. He blinked and exchanged a look with Komi who blinked back as though trying to clear dirt from his eyes. 

“A  _ what  _ player?”

“Is this one weird too?” 

Akaashi flinched as a sharp pain struck his back. He had said too much. His fingers went back to their twisting and he cursed at himself for speaking.

At practice, he kept his mouth closed. Even when the coach announced they were doing three on three's, he barely spoke.

“Communicate guys!” Coach Yamiji said. It was the fourth time that Akaashi had set the ball to open space.

Keeping his head down, he mumbled an apology to Sarukui and Washio. His fingers twisted together. He proceeded to run into Washio receiving and found himself saying ‘I’m sorry’ for the seventh time that day. 

“If you can apologize, you can speak so do it,” Yamiji said. “Otherwise I’m making you switch with Bokuto’s team who will make you talk.”

Akaashi’s face flushed red and when he looked across the court he saw Komi and Konoha sharing a glance. White hot pain shot across his back. He winced, but collected himself. Finally his voice worked enough to call out to Washio, but not enough to congratulate him when he slammed the ball on the other side of the court.

Watching from the outside, Akaashi stared as Washio high-fived Sarukui. He sighed and dropped back into position as the ball came across the net. The receive was clean, set too, and the ball again slammed on the other side of the net. And yet again, Akaashi refrained from giving Washio a high five.

_ Rule number two,  _ he reminded himself as his eyes flitted to Komi and Konoha.  _ Never show too much affection.  _

“Bokuto-san.”

The ball bounced off the tips of Akaashi’s fingers, sailing through the air behind him until it found its way into Bokuto’s hand. Two blockers jumped from the ground in pursuit, but the ball slammed down on the other side of the net before they could get a finger on it.

“Yes!” Bokuto pumped his fists in the air “Look how awesome that was. Hey hey hey!”

Akaashi caught himself smiling as Bokuto slammed his hands onto Washio’s. When he glanced at Konoha getting a high five as well, he shifted his gaze to the wall, his face falling.

They were at deuce with the opposing team, Shinzen, and had just pulled ahead. Sweat cascaded down Akaashi’s back as his rugged breaths released into the air. His teammates weren’t doing much better. Most, besides Bokuto, were hunched over themselves trying to collect their breaths.

_ One more point,  _ he told himself taking in a slow breath to calm his heaving. 

Washio collected the ball, serving it over to the other team. The recieve was clean, and the players chased after the ball. Akaashi watched, looking to see who was the ball’s target. With the setter’s glance of his eyes, he jumped to the left, putting up a two person block against the spiker. The ball ricocheted off his hand, flying to the back of the court.

“One touch!” He said as his teammates scrambled to gather the ball. 

It was successfully bumped, flying towards Akaashi as he landed on the ground.

“Give me the last one!” Bokuto swung his arms from the other end of the court. Akaashi gave a glance at the spiker approaching from his back and the position of his opponents, before setting it to Bokuto. 

His approach was rough with his foot catching on the floorboard for a second before he was airborne and somehow squeezing the ball between the two blockers arms. A harsh slap echoed as a player on the other end dove, picking the spike up. 

The team attacked with most of the players, only their libero staying behind. They moved in one motion, arms sweeping together as they approached. The ball was tossed and spiked into a receiver on Akaashi’s end. It was brought up cleanly. 

Akaashi moved to get under it, tossing another to Bokuto upon his request. He slammed it down, but again his ball was picked up by the receivers. Akaashi clicked his tongue and when the ball came back to his side, he watched as Washio hit it too far to the left. 

“Cover!”

The ball sailed out of the court, but Akaashi was already under it. His fingers found their usual rhythm as he heard his name called. 

“Akaaashi! Bring it here!”

With a smile tickling the corners of his mouth, Akaashi watched as the ball left his fingertips, setting perfectly to Bokuto.

The approach was flawless, not a hitch in his step. Dashing up to the net, three blockers greeted him. Akaashi grinned at the smirk on Bokuto’s face.

His arm swung through the air, before his fingers softly brushed the end of the ball, dinking it over the blockers and onto the ground below where it met no opposition.

As Bokuto landed, he locked onto Akaashi’s eyes where a grin weaseled his way onto his face. Running over he held up a hand. Akaashi stared, before his face eased, and he slapped back. 

“Alright!” The whole team exploded in excitement, high fiving each other and congratulating each other on their first win. Akaashi grinned ear to ear as the seniors clapped his hands, congratulating him on his killer sets. Konoha and Komi both came up as well, slapping his hands in victory before everyone was brought into their final huddle.

They lined up, thanking Shinzen for the match and promising to play together again soon. As the night wrapped up and the team finished cleaning, Bokuto hung around the doorway.

“You don’t even need to ask,” Akaashi said as he held up a ball. 

Bokuto stared between the ball and Akaashi before his eyes glinted. “Akaashi you’re the best! The way you set that final ball was insane like it was going out of bounds and you just appeared underneath it and set it. You need to do that during our official matches, we’re going to win for sure.”

“Thank you,” Akaashi said as the tips of his ears turned red. “You’re pretty amazing too.”

“I know right! Wait,” Bokuto said. “What?”

Akaashi's gaze slipped down. His stomach clenched and his hands urged to twist together again. But when he glanced up that darkness seemingly always lingering in Bokuto’s gaze was gone. His eyes were like the sun, searing into Akaashi and melting every wall he constructed.

“I said I think you’re pretty amazing too. Your feint today was impressive.”

Bokuto blinked before pumping his fists in the air and running up to Akaashi. “Yeah that was pretty cool. I figured if I did it then they wouldn’t see it coming. You should’ve seen the look on their faces. It was priceless.”

As Bokuto continued rambling, Akaashi smiled at him. An ease found its way into his body but it didn’t shape his mouth into a frown or his eyes in blank stares. He relaxed into a slight grin, and as his eyes shimmered at the star before him, his heart skipped a beat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When your children are growing up *wipes tears away* I hope you guys enjoyed this! There will be another update sometime next week with some exciting things happening in the chapter UWU. See you guys soon and stay safe :)


	3. Rule #3: Never Openly Talk About Gay People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there everyone! I'm sorry this took longer than I expected. I was working on a story for a scholarship and got busyyyy. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy :D (This one is little longer uwu)

**Hey hey Akaashi what up?** **  
** The three sharp rings of his phone made Akaashi jump from his desk. His hand knocked away his science notes, sending them sprawling onto the floor. Picking them up, he swore to shut off his phone’s ringer when studying. But as he glanced down at the device, he went rigid. His fingers twisted together, and sucking in a breath, he grabbed it. 

Looking over his notes and the clock across the screen, he opened his phone. 

**Nothing much. Just finals.**

**Could you help me with an essay?**

**Yes.**

**Thanks I’ll send you the details :)**

**Oh BTW it's due Sunday. Look forward to it.**

Akaashi stared at the messages and glanced at his desk. On it stacks and stacks of notebooks piled on top of each other; his bookmarker slotted in the halfway point. And on his computer sat his own half finished essay.

Looking down, his heart sank. He twisted his fingers together while assessing his options. Eight classes of his own work. Eight finals looming on the horizon. 

He checked his phone again. The contact name turned into a face, then a body with hands and arms and eyes watching. Watching with a grin as Akaashi was thrown to the cage. Watching as the shackles chained him down. And watching as Akaashi’s life slowly became his.

Pain seared against Akaashi’s back. The letters scarred into the skin flashed across his vision.

_ If you don’t… _

Twisting his fingers one last time, he slouched into his chair and saved his own essay before pulling up another tab.

He'd better start now. 

“This week,” Coach Yamiji said. “We’ll be hosting the yearly training camp.”

A symphony of cheers erupted in the gym. The seniors said it was a tradition: the best part of volleyball season. 

But Akaashi was frozen. His mouth pressed itself into a tight line instead of grinning and shouting.

Coach Yamiji cleared his throat, throwing the crowd into silence. “We will be staying here for the weekend,” he said. “So make sure to pack a bag for sleeping. Treat the other schools nicely as well. While they are our opponents, try to learn from them.”

Akaashi’s stomach clenched as he mumbled an affirmative. His back seared with pain as he thought about sleeping next to his teammates. He twisted his fingers together, trying to take in a breath to collect himself.

“That is all for tonight. Great job, see all of you tomorrow.”

Five days. Five days Akaashi realized as he cleaned up with the others. Then he’d be sleeping with someone for the first time in years. Last time that had happened his secret came to light. He made his face fall into a flat line. Later, he told himself, later he could stress about it. He still had—

“Akaaashi we’re practicing, right?” Bokuto bounded next to him. A ball was already in his hands. Akaashi kept the smile itching the edges of his lips from showing. His chest lightened.

“Of course, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto grinned, running to grab a basket of balls from Komi who was threatening to put them away. Akaashi stared at him for a second, the world glimmering brighter before he followed.

But then everything blurred with the chime of Coach Yamiji’s words. 

Akaashi had to find a way to get out of sleeping in that room and write that essay. Otherwise everything that happened before would repeat. His fingers twisted together as he saw Bokuto sneering at him while his teammates turned their backs on him.

_ Not now,  _ he told himself.

“C’mon Akaaashi!” Bokuto said.

Akaashi’s head snapped up as Bokuto waved his arms for him to come over. He sucked in a breath as he weighed his options and trudged over. 

9:30 came slowly but by that time Akaashi’s back was the only thing burning. His even breaths matched Bokuto’s as the custodian called for them to leave before he locked them in. Bowing his head, Akaashi obeyed and put away the remaining balls.

“Here.” Bokuto said, thrusting a water bottle at Akaashi as he made his way to the doors of the gym. “I thought you might need one.”

“Thank you.” Akaashi said. He sipped a few gulps while Bokuto chugged the whole thing next to him. A smile danced across his lips, but he quenched it down before he could get caught.

“I’m so pumped for training camp this year,” Bokuto said. “It’s your first time, yeah? Well everything about it is  _ amazing.  _ I mean sure the penalties aren’t fun, but the games are intense. That’s the word right? I think so. Yeah intense.”

Akaashi hung his head as Bokuto laughed next to him. 

“I don’t think I can go.”

“What, why?”   
“There’s,” Akaashi said. “An essay I need to do.”

Bokuto blinked. “But finals are going to be over by then. They finish Thursday, don’t you remember?”

“Oh yeah.” Akaashi tried laughing, but ended up twisting his fingers together. “I guess.”

“So you’re going?”

“I still don’t—”

“But none of the other setters toss like you.” The tips of Bokuto’s hair tilted downwards. His lips pouted as his shoulders slumped forwards. 

“I,” Akaashi looked away, forcing his smile and feelings down.“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes!” Bokuto said. “This year is going to be amazing. Just wait Nekoma, we’re coming for you. Hey hey hey!”

Akaashi watched as Bokuto skipped through the night and kept his head looking at the ground. His fingers twisted and he took a breath to clear his mind. The pain in his back stilled and images ceased to cross his mind.

It would be different this time. No reason to worry, right?

Akaashi wanted to turn around the second he opened the door to their sleeping area. He gulped staring at the mats laid out by his teammates side by side. There was little to no wiggle room between each person. 

The third years were already in bed, showers done, while most of the second years were under their covers as well. Bokuto thought staying up until midnight practicing was the best course of action thus Akaashi had yet to take a shower even though his turn was called an hour ago. Sweat still clung to his chest and he wanted to go, but with Bokuto in there he decided against it. He’d just wait until he came back.

Letting out a sigh, Akaashi tiptoed across the room to the open mat in the corner. He eyed Komi lying behind him, completely passed out before looking away from his bare chest. Placing his bag down, he opened his phone to read through the messages he’d ignored throughout the long day of practicing.

At seven am they opened the school for the other teams. Sleep had clung to him in messy hair and perpetual yawning. If Bokuto hadn’t been his passing partner during warmups he was certain he would’ve fallen asleep in the middle of their first set.

Their first match had been against Nekoma, and Bokuto took it personally upon himself to antagonize their second year, Kuroo as much as humanly possible. While a strong opponent in of himself, Akaashi had found their setter most troubling. He read the court in a way no other setter seemed to. For as much as Akaashi read people, this man seemed to be in a constant state of analyzing. Glances, twitches, expressions. It was unnerving.

Whenever they played Nekoma, Akaashi kept his face in a stricter line than usual. Any time he glanced at the setter, it was almost like he read every bit of his being. And Akaashi couldn’t have that. 

Keeping his glances at a minimum, he kept his head down, or on the ball, or anywhere else besides the men around him. If anyone was going to figure out his secret, it was that setter. He had to get as far away from him as possible.

“You still haven’t taken your shower?” A voice said, causing Akaashi to flinch. “I’m done if you want to get in.”

“Thank you.” Akaashi said as Bokuto sat himself on the mat next to him. 

Standing up and putting his phone between his clothes, Akaashi’s gaze turned to look at Bokuto. His shirt clung tight against his biceps while his shorts exposed the muscle chiseled into his thighs. He looked away, gathering the rest of his stuff.

“You know,” Bokuto said. “You can shower with me if you want. If we’re going to stay up practicing it might be easier if you don’t have to wait.”

Akaashi gave him a small smile before shaking his head. “Thanks, but I think I’m alright.” 

Bokuto frowned before shrugging. “Suit yourself.”

Akaashi hustled out the door, preventing Bokuto from making any further comments. He sighed as he walked down the hall, the clothes in his arms preventing him from twisting his fingers together. Two more days then it would be over, and he could sleep in his own bed normally without thinking about if someone was seeing his eyes wandering. 

Reaching the bathroom, he showered quickly, scrubbing the excess sweat from his body. As he washed at his back, his fingers grazed against the jagged edges of his scars. Lips pulling tight, he stood under the water to wash away the suds. The angry marks still ripped open his skin. 

His fingers twisted together as he stared at the steam gathering above him. Was he being careful enough? Was anyone seeing through him? Did anyone know?

_ No,  _ he told himself toying at the edges of his back.  _ No one is ever going to know.  _

The water snapped off, and he dried himself with the towel hanging on the door rack. Placing on his clothes, he took a second to look himself over in the mirror. His eyes were red, and lips curved up far too high. Colors escaped onto his face, trying to break through the wall he constructed so long ago. One breath in, a twist, and the wall fell again. Eyes looked ahead at something past his reflection, lips drew themselves in a tight line. Once he made sure there was nothing out of place, he turned away.

The hallway chilled from the absence of the sun. He shivered as he made his way down, hugging his clothes closer to him. Yet, even when he looked at the door to his room, and the warm covers stacked on top of each other, he couldn’t move. His stomach churned and his back flared in warning. The threshold pushed him back and with a sigh he hung his head and turned around.

He had more important things to do, right? That essay.

“Damn.” The essay.

Striding down the hall, he made his way to the computer lab held in the corner of the school. Part of him expected the door to be locked, but he found it ajar. His eyes narrowed. The room was quiet as he stepped in, but in the corner he could see a faint light shining against the walls. Sucking in a breath, he kept his head down and chose to ignore whoever it was, optinh for a computer on the other side of the room.

Booting up the computer, he frowned as it froze on the loading screen. The circling wheel mocked him as his fingers twisted together.

“The one next to me works,” a voice called. Akaashi started, whipping his head up to see where the voice came from. A hand shot up where the dull light of the computer screen flashed against the wall.

Glancing down at the screen in front of him, Akaashi weighed his options before ultimately moving across the room. His stomach twisted when he saw blond tips bounce as a mouse clicked side to side.

Akaashi kept his eyes level, choosing to only stare at the screen booting up before him and not glance at the Nekoma setter next to him.

“Thank you.”

The boy shrugged, attention fully focused on the game before him. “It’s nothing.”

Akaashi turned his attention back to his screen, finding the essay online and pulling up the documents of research. The words flowed from his fingers onto the page. An outline turning to sentences, then paragraphs, then everything was there minus the conclusion. He sighed and looked at the time. Three thirty.

Blinking, he yawned slowly and finally closed out the tab. One more paragraph then he’d send it in. It was Friday, he had one more day. Mind as well sleep now before he got whooped tomorrow.

As he pulled up from his chair, he saw the boy next to him still playing at the game on the computer. Bags pulled down his eyes as he watched the characters on the screen.

“It’s three o’clock,” Akaashi said. “I didn’t know if you wanted to get to sleep.”

“Really? Oh,” he said. “It should be fine then.”

He clicked out from his computer shutting it down and standing with a small stretch.

“Do you need any help navigating? I’m from here.”

He blinked. “Sure.”

The boy followed close behind Akaashi, his eyes lingering on the ground. When he glanced up, Akaashi had to look away, afraid of his calculating eyes.

“I’m Akaashi Keiji by the way from Fukurodani.” He tried distracting the other. 

“Kenma.Kozume Kenma.”

“You’re from Nekoma, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Setter?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

Kenma looked away and finally Akaashi felt relief from those prying eyes. He had to keep talking then he’d just keep staring off in the distance.

“What year are you?”

“First year, but I don’t think it really matters.”

Akaashi blinked and nodded. 

“How long have you been playing?”

Kenma kept his focus on the ground, narrowing his eyes and falling behind. Akaashi twisted his fingers. Just keep him talking. Keep his brain off.

“What game were you playing back there?”

“Disgaea 4.”

Akaashi smiled.

“You don’t know that game?”

“No. I’m not much of a gamer.”

Kenma nodded, still keeping his head down. Akaashi saw Nekoma’s room approaching and made one last push to keep him distracted.

“What were you doing in the computer lab?”

“Gaming.”

“But why so late?”

“Some of my teammates don’t feel comfortable falling asleep with me there.”

The two stopped at the door and Kenma’s eyes seared into Akaashi. They glinted in the moonlight, but were filled with something Akaashi had never seen before. Pity wasn’t the word, nor was anger.

More like… understanding.

Pain shot through Akaashi’s back, and he stumbled backwards. His blank eyes narrowed and fingers clenched beside him. But Kenma just blinked, smiled, and raised a hand.

“Night.”

The door shut, but Akaashi stood gaping. His fingers twisted together as he looked at the ground.

_ He knows.  _

The next day Akaashi spent the whole time avoiding Kenma and, by extension, Nekoma’s team. While on break, he stuck close with Konoha or Bokuto, his time varying depending on if Bokuto talked to Kuroo. He kept glancing over at Kenma, making sure he wasn’t staring at him too long. But he seemed preoccupied, his team pulling his attention away.

During their games, Akaashi refused to make eye contact with him, glancing at everything else. He kept his attention on his own teammates, deciding that if he looked on the other court Kenma would be watching. Even while turned away, he could feel those eyes on his back. The information he had unknowingly shared was held in Kenma’s hands.

Akaashi’s hands shook as he set the ball, dropping it lower than normal. 

“Sorry it’s short.” he said as Bokuto jumped, hitting it but getting it knocked down by the blockers all the same.

The whistle blew and the set ended. Akaashi spared a glance at Kenma before slinking away under his gaze for the penalties. His chest loosened knowing it was the last set. One more day and he could go home. Then it would be over. 

Their penalty finished quickly with the team rounding up to the water bottle station afterwards. Akaashi stood off to the side, his head tilting towards the floor. Only occasionally did the bottle ever reach his lips.

“What’s up, Akaaashi? Never seen you flailing around that much before,” Bokuto said. 

Akaashi blinked, glancing at Bokuto coming over next to him. He tossed his water bottle from hand to hand while his eyes trained on Akaashi.

“Ahh, sorry.”

Bokuto frowned before flipping the water in the air and catching it. He pointed it at Akaashi. “Just gives us an excuse to practice more then! My crosses were really good today, did you see ‘em?”

“Yeah, they were great.”

“Ha. They could barely get a hand on ‘em. Especially Kuroo. He wishes he could block those.” 

Akaashi nodded, eyes glancing back to the corner of the gym. Kenma stood in the corner of the room talking to Kuroo next to him. He leaned towards him, a hint of a smile pressed against his lips. Beside him the Shinzen manager handed out water. Kuroo and Kenma barely glanced at her, taking the waters, offering thanks while their other teammates stared as the girl went around the gym. 

Narrowing his eyes, Akaashi watched as Kuroo and Kenma inched closer together. Kuroo’s hand brushed against the shoulder of his teammate before his lips curled into a grin, and he draped an arm around him whispering something in his ear. Kenma looked up and said something back, causing Kuroo to look away and glance around the room. His eyes met Akaashi’s for a moment, and Akaashi immediately looked down, his stomach tightening.

Did Kenma tell him? Did he know? 

He shouldn’t have gone, this was a mistake. The second Coach Yamiji said that he should’ve feigned illness. Soon everything was going to fall apart, soon all of his teammates would—

“Hey let's go get some tosses in,” Bokuto said, slapping Akaashi on the back. “I got in a straight today, and I wanna try it again. The third gym is open so we can practice there!”

“Bokuto-san, I’m not sure if—”

“But Akaaashi if you don’t toss to me it doesn’t feel as good.”

“You’re going to have to hit sets from other setters as well.”

“What happens in the future doesn’t matter. You’re here right now, and you can toss to me, and I want to hit those tosses.”

Akaashi blinked as Bokuto’s eyes pleaded with him. Around him the rest of Fukurodani had left, leaving them with the stragglers from the other teams. But they seemed to drop from the world as Akaashi stared at Bokuto.

“Fine.”

“Yes! You’re the best Akaaashi.”

Akaashi almost smiled as Bokuto jumped the whole way to the gym.

They had emptied the basket three times when there was a figure at the door. Akaashi glanced up and his stomach dropped. He hoped Bokuto was looking the other direction. 

“Hey Kuroo!” Bokuto said. “Wanna join our practice?” 

Akaashi almost glared at him but chose instead to busy himself with collecting the balls scattered along the floor.

“Why else do you think I’m here? You’re not exactly the most pleasurable guy to be around.”

“I’ll have you know I have many friends.”

“Like who?”

“My dearest Akashi.”

Akaashi kept his lips in a tight line as Bokuto draped an arm over him. His skin burned beneath the other’s touch, and when Kuroo smirked, he shoved Bokuto off his shoulder.

“Doesn’t seem like he’s your ‘dearest’.”

“Akashi, c’mon back me up here.”

“Bokuto-san, you only pronounce my name right half the time.”

Kuroo’s smirk only grew as Bokuto looked away. He crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

“You’re not supposed to tell him that. Now he’ll think I’m a loner.”

Akaashi was about to retort when he found Kuroo’s eyes drilled into him. He looked away, his grip tightening on the ball in his hands.

“Sorry.”

Bokuto blinked as Akaashi brushed past him putting the ball back into the basket.

“Let’s start before it gets too late,” he said. 

Grinning suddenly, Bokuto nodded, bounding off to retrieve the rest of the balls. Akaashi adjusted the basket, keeping his gaze from Kuroo who stared at him. His fingers twisted together as he remembered Kenma. Had he told him earlier? A sharp pull twisted his finger sideways.

His hands felt apart a minute later as Bokuto threw a ball towards him. The ball flew too close to the net, but Bokuto hit it all the same. Right into Kuroo’s hands.

“Weren’t you saying earlier that you could blow past all my blocks?”

“Shut up!”  
Kuroo smirked.

“C’mon Akaaashi toss me another so I can show him.”

Akaashi complied. But when Bokuto tossed him the ball, he glanced at the other side of the net. Instead of Kuroo watching Bokuto’s run, his eyes were on him. Akaashi’s fingers shook beneath the weight of the ball and it just flew above the net. “Sorry it’s short.”

But Bokuto ran up, slamming it past Kuroo’s block. Akaashi marveled for a moment. There never seemed to be a roof too high for Bokuto. Whatever life threw him, he kept overcoming it.

Imagine that. 

“Nice kill.” Akaashi said. Bokuto beamed and pumped his fists in the air.

“How do you like me now Kuroo?”

“That was one ball.”

“Well then try and stop the next one.”

This time Bokuto got it through, even with Akaashi’s high set. Then his low set. Then his set close to the net. Then his set way too far out. But every ball was spiked all the same.

“Sorry,” Akaashi said as the ball caught in Kuroo’s hands. “That’s my bad.”

Bokuto and Kuroo stared at him for a second before Bokuto opened his mouth to speak.

“You were doing this earlier, something up?”

Akaashi heaved out a breath as his eyes flicked to Kuroo. His stomach dropped and instantly regretted doing so. Kuroo caught his slip and narrowed his eyes.

“It’s—”

“Hey you three, dinner is going to be cold if you don’t hurry up,” A voice said from the doorway. All three glanced over to see Yukie sticking her head through the doorway. Akaashi Gave a nod while Bokuto exclaimed next to him, running to gather balls.

Akaashi followed in his footsteps, but after he dumped his first arm load of balls in the bin, Kuroo caught his attention.

“I’m surprised he actually found someone willing to practice with him.” 

“Bokuto?”

“Yeah. He’s always been a handful. I’m lucky I’m not on the same team as him or I think I’d go mad.”

Akaashi side-eyed him. 

“But I think too he needs someone to show him he’s not alone in this. Sure, he’s got me and Kenma, but no one is really on his team who’s the same as him.”

Akaashi’s hands began to shake. His back flared, and he heard the voices of them again. The ones who called him weird, and disgusting. The ones who took him into the forest. The ones who found out.

“You know you’re not alone too.”

The wall around him leaked out a crack. An eye stared through at him, and someone grabbed out threatening to pull everything down. But Akaashi held his ground. He reconstructed his face. Neutral, fall into the neutral.

The rules, follow the rules.

_ Rule number three: never openly talk about gay people.  _

“I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you mean,” Akaashi said. “Contrary to your belief Bokuto has many friends.”

Kuroo blinked before his eyes narrowed. “I know it’s not the easiest—”

“Guys what’s with the idle chit chat, we gotta move! Cafeteria’s closing soon.”

Akaashi gave one final look at Kuroo. “Whatever you think you and Kenma figured out isn’t true. Now if you’ll excuse us.”

Giving one bow to his senior, Akaashi turned and made his way out of the gym with Bokuto bounding ahead of him.

Akaashi was in the forest again. Above him the leaves caged him inside. The sunlight caught itself in the branches casting a darkness over the sky, the sun present but too far out of reach. 

Bokuto, Konoha, and Komi were next to him with a figure standing beside one of the trees. _ He _ was watching, observing with those playful eyes. Smiling, just as  _ he _ had done before as Akaashi was slammed into the ground.

Above him, Akaashi’s friends grinned down. In their hands small blades were able to absorb the pitiful sunlight. They drew closer, fists and kicks ready.

Akaashi scrambled to get away, but when he saw their eyes he stopped. He could trust them right? They had always been there for him, why would it be any different?

“Relax,” Bokuto said. “We’re going to show you something.”

Akaashi eyed the knife in his hand.

“Show me what?”

“What people like you deserve. The price of liking guys.”

Komi and Konoha grappled onto his wrist holding him down as Bokuto swung his leg. It collided with Akaashi’s face knocking him to the ground. The second kick came from his right, then another from the left. Air seized itself from his lungs as he sputtered, hoping to draw in a breath. But there on the ground he began to drown. The light too far out of reach and waves of pain clashing on top of him.

He didn’t know when he had been flipped over, but he realized it when the blade first entered his skin. The cut was shallow at first. Then the second, then the third joined. A curse blossomed into his skin and was carved over and over.

Akaashi wanted to scream for Bokuto to stop, for Komi and Konoha to let him go. But as he looked into those kind eyes, he couldn’t.

_ This is your payment for being different. _

_ This is the payment of your kind for ruining lives. _

_ You disgusting pig. _

A scream tore itself from his throat as Akaashi shot up. His breath was uneven, heaves falling from his mouth. Pain shot through his back, and for a second he thought he was still in the forest with his friends over him. But when he blinked, Bokuto slept next to him, body limp and devoid of any weapon. Komi similarly was asleep behind him.

Akaashi glanced around, making sure he hadn’t woken anyone, but the group was collectively passed out. He let out a sigh of relief and took a second to control his breathing.

It was just a dream, nothing more. They were long gone by now, on the other side of Japan and he wouldn’t see them soon. But his back screamed nonetheless. It warned him not to let anyone too close. Not to let anyone  _ know _ . 

Deciding sleep was impossible as every time he closed his eyes, he could only see Bokuto with a knife, he got up and ambled to the computer lab just as he had done before. He still had an essay to finish because even if those boys were gone,  _ he  _ was still present. The guillotine hanging just above his head ready to let the truth cut him from society.

Pushing the door open, he entered and found the computer he had been on yesterday. He booted it up, or at least tried, but found that the computer wouldn’t turn on.

“They’re all down tonight.”

Akaashi jumped from the sudden voice, and spun around. His heart rate tripled, and only grew when he saw the small boy with pudding hair curled in the corner, his head wrapped in his video game. Akaashi’s stomach twisted as did his fingers.

“Every single one?” He asked. 

Kenma nodded. “I tried. Something about the wifi being down.”

Glancing back at the computer, Akaashi sighed. His hands twisted underneath the table as he realized the paper was due in twenty-two hours. He’d just have to wait until he got home. Hopefully he’d be fine with that. Otherwise…

“Oh I think you forgot this last night.” Kenma said. In his hand, Akaashi’s phone rested.

Akaashi took his device. “Thank you.”

He hadn’t realized he left it, but immediately upon seeing the list of messages, he wished he had. 

**Hey things got changed the essay is due tonight**

**You need to make adjustments**

**Hey I need to the essay**

**Are you there?**

**I checked it and it's still not finished…**

**Do you want everyone at Suzumeoka to know?**

**Hey respond I need the essay**

**If I check it one more time and see no change everyone is going to know**

**You have two hours**

The last text had been sent thirty minutes ago.

“Shit.”

He still had time, right? He could get home in twenty minutes if he left now and took the train. The essay only needed the conclusion done so it would be quick to finish. Granted, he wasn’t sure if he could get back into the school as they locked it down after practice every night. But it was worth it, right?

Akaashi could already hear Bokuto chewing him out.

He should’ve finished the essay last night, dammit. 

Only when his legs gave out under him did he realize his body was shaking. His breathing was quick and dark spots kept dancing across his vision. But now wasn’t the time. He needed to get home and finish the essay before everyone knew. Before his nightmare became a reality.

“You don’t have to do what he says,” Kenma said. 

Akaashi was already on his feet when he heard the other’s voice. He narrowed his eyes, but Kenma’s head was tilted towards his video game.

“I do.” 

“Or he’ll tell everyone?” 

“Yes.”

“Does he even know what school you go to?” 

Kenma’s eyes drilled into Akaashi and he stopped moving. 

“I mean… no.”

“Then who is he going to tell?”

Akaashi looked away. The cage over him seemed to lose its weight.“But I—”

“The choice is always yours. And you can keep playing his game, or make your own.”

He had never thought about it that way. The choice never seemed to be his. What would happen if he drew back and stood his ground? Wouldn’t it be a repeat of last time?

But he didn’t know where Akaashi was.

“Outing is scary, I won’t deny that,” Kenma said. “But sometimes it doesn’t end terribly.”

Akaashi stared between Kenma and his phone.

“You were outed too?”

Kenma nodded. “Middle school. But things end up working out with some people. Not everyone, but there’s always someone. Again the choice is yours, but you just might be surprised by how freeing it is.”

Bokuto danced through Akaashi’s mind. His freedom. But intertwined with him he saw Kenma and Kuroo. How close they were during practice matches.

He glanced at his phone and his back lit up in pain. Did he really want that nightmare to become a reality?

But Kenma was right, who was  _ he  _ going to tell? Akaashi didn’t go to Suzumeoka.  _ He _ couldn’t reach him. 

Akaashi let out a sigh and the cage above him slipped away. His phone fell out of his hands, and he turned to Kenma and sat beside him.

“So what was it like for you, getting outed?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed!! I should be able to get another chapter out this week :D Have a great day, week and year and stay safe


	4. Rule #4: Never Be Fully Open With Anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there! I hope everyone is having a great day today and that you're all staying safe. I hope, as well, that you enjoy this chapter, it's a little shorter but :D

Winter still had yet to release Japan from its grip as snow fell. The world outside caked in darkness and sheets of white. The absence of heat drifted through the walls fighting against the warmth from the vents. But that didn’t keep Akaashi from shuddering as he got ready for school.

He grabbed a scarf from his dresser and twisted it around his neck. The coat draped over his body skimmed the floor as he knelt down, hoisting his backpack and volleyball bag over his head. His uniform hung in his room, cleaned from the matches that previous week. He gazed at it for a second, inspecting the number twelve etched into the back.

“Keiji hurry up or you’re going to be late!”

“I’ll be there in a second mom.”

Akaashi grabbed his phone from his bed and scanned the texts. A smile fell across his lips as his volleyball group chat were the only messages he received. Konoha complained about the cold weather, and Komi yelled at him just to throw a jacket on.

No new messages from Bokuto though. 

Pressing the door closed, Akaashi stood in the foyer where his mom smiled at him. He didn’t return it as he kept his face neutral. 

“Wow volleyball starting up again that fast?” She motioned to his bag. “You really like that team don’t you?’

He nodded, wanting the clock to fast forward eight hours. “They’re a good team.”

She smiled holding out his lunch for him. “It’s good to see you so happy with them.”

Akaashi bobbed his head again and put his lunch into his backpack. 

“Oh before you go, I know you like staying after practice, but your father is coming back from his business trip for his birthday. Can you be home early tonight to celebrate?”

“Of course,” Akaashi said. 

“Thank you sweetheart. See you later then.”

The first warning sign that practice wasn’t going to go smoothly was Bokuto’s disappearance from lunch. Akaashi sat in his classroom, staring at the door. He glanced down at his phone, the time slowly ticking upwards. Even after he ate most of his lunch, Bokuto didn’t show face. Akaashi’s eyes kept shifting from his tray to the door.

Soon the bell rang and lunch was officially over, Bokuto skipping. Akaashi stared down at his lunch, looking at the empty tray. He stuffed it back in his bag and sighed. The rest of the day passed slowly, the clock dragging forwards. The lights in the classroom seemed dimmer, his notebook covered with a shade.

As the bell struck three, students gathered their coats and belongings setting off on the treacherous trek of winter in Tokyo. But Akaashi lingered in his classroom. Five minutes passed and Bokuto skipped again. Even as Akaashi stood and checked the hallway, he couldn’t see any sign of him. 

Akaashi’s hands twisted together as his normal routine continued to shatter. Had he said something wrong? Had  _ he  _ sent something to him? 

No, no that was impossible.  _ He  _ didn’t know where Akaashi went to school. Besides if he told people at Suzumeoka, they wouldn’t know who he was talking about. 

Akaashi shook his head and told himself to calm down. Stressing out now would only lead to trouble. Keep a level face, don’t show too much, that was how to survive. Bokuto probably ghosted him about something else. His emotions were always a roller coaster during matches, this was nothing new.

Akaashi finally got up, leaving his classroom and heading to the club room.

“Hey Akaashi, just the guy I was looking for,” Konoha said, catching him in the hallway. 

“Konoha-san, nice to see you.”

“Still as polite as ever. Anyways, I know you hang out a lot with Bokuto, but he was out of it today. If he did or does anything, don't take it personally. He gets this way after losses. Man he’s such a pain. How you deal with him, I don’t understand.”

Akaashi felt his lips curling up and couldn’t shut them down. “He’s pretty simple minded but the way he plays is amazing.”

“Well, he just might need to hear that today.”

Akaashi didn’t even have to ask because as soon as he opened the club room door, the loud voice he expected had disappeared. In fact, Bokuto himself had vanished from the room entirely. Akaashi held down his frown and grabbed his clothes, going to the bathroom beside the gym to change. No one looked in his direction when he left.

When Akaashi finally entered the gym, the first thing he noticed was the silence. Then the baffled expressions worn by everyone. He titled his head in the direction of the faces to see Bokuto curled up under one of the tables with water on it.

“He’s been like that since we got here,” Konoha said as Akaashi walked over. “Damn I knew he’d be dejected, but I never expected it to be this bad.”

“He was better last year,” Komi said. “At least he’d come out for spiking practice.”

“That was only because Coach Yamiji threatened to bench him if he didn’t come. But he won’t even go out for that.”

“Jeez, he’s such a pain.”

Akaashi stared at Bokuto sulking underneath the table even as the others walked towards Coach Yamiji starting practice. His mouth opened to speak, but he thought better of it and turned to his teammates. 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto said.

He stopped in his tracks, glancing back at him. “Yes?”

“Practice spikes with me for just a ‘lil bit?”

Akaashi glanced over at the coach before smiling back at Bokuto. “Sure.”

Coach Yamiji didn’t say a word to them as Akaashi and Bokuto spent the entirety of practice by themselves slamming down ball after ball. Instead, he grinned at Akaashi when Bokuto rushed off to grab them water bottles. Akaashi had wanted to apologize, but Coach Yamiji seemed to be thanking him for his ability to pull Bokuto back up.

By the time the team finished, Bokuto was grinning again. He pumped his fists into the air as his ball just grazed the line. Akaashi smiled. It wasn’t perfect yet, but it was getting there. 

“And Akaashi pulls him up again. Which weakness was this one? Or is it new?” Konoha said. Akaashi grabbed the ball by the door before counting in his head.

“It’s new, the fifteenth one,” Akaashi said. “I’d say hates to lose.”

Konoha laughed. “You really read him like a book, don’t cha? Lucky us, now he isn’t mopy as he used to be. We’re lucky to have you.”

Konoha nudged Akaashi, and he had to wipe a grin from appearing on his face. 

“Hey Akaaashi, let’s get back to practicing!” Bokuto said. “I’m getting closer with my straight.” 

Akaashi finally let a small smile fall onto his face. “He’s so free.”

“Ain’t that the truth. Well I’ll leave his annoying highness to you.” Konoha mimed a bow in Bokuto’s direction before leaving with Komi and Washio.

Akaashi let out a breath and turned to Bokuto, jogging over to continue. Bokuto threw him the ball, and with sturdy hands, Akaashi set it. The ball smashed across the court. 

Bokuto let out a groan and ran his hands through his hair. “One more time.”

Nodding Akaashi set again, and again, and again. 

One more, Bokuto kept calling and Akaashi kept complying, wanting to stay for one more set. Over and over the balls fell across the court, from the center to skimming the line. 

“Nice kill,” Akaashi said as the ball slammed on the floor, just barely in. He panted to try and catch his breath and looked over, seeing Bokuto in similar shape.

“If only I had been able to do that earlier,” Bokuto said. “Then we would’ve gotten further at nationals.”

Akaashi stared at his drooped form. The tips of his hair tilted downwards, and he looked about two second away from curling up again. 

“You did great, Bokuto-san.”

“But not good enough.  _ I’m  _ the reason we lost.”

His hands clenched by his chests while heaving began to sound more like growling. Akaashi narrowed his eyes and reached down. 

“Then we’ll just keep practicing,” he said. Holding up another ball, he watched as Bokuto’s eyes sparkled. Akaashi found himself smiling, his heart hammering in his chest. “Come on so next year we don’t lose because you can’t get a spike in.”

“Yeah!”

They continued for hours, Akaashi never glancing at the clock once. After what had to be the thousandth spike, Bokuto and Akaashi collapsed on the floor. Sweat stained their shirts as they lay on the ground heaving. The gym’s lights danced over Akaashi’s eyes, dark spots merging with gold.

“I really wanted to win this year,” Bokuto said. “Our team was strong. But I just kept getting blocked.”

“Like I said we’ll just keep practicing.”

Bokuto fell silent for a second, causing Akaashi’s head to turn towards him. A grin plastered itself on his face before he started laughing.

“You know, it feels good to have someone who says that,” Bokuto said.

“Why wouldn’t I help you practice?”

“Apparently some people can’t stand me.”

“I can’t disagree there.”

“You’re supposed to say ‘that’s not true Bokuto-san’.”

Akaashi withdrew before Bokuto could smack him. 

“Really though, I meant there was never anyone ever willing to practice. In middle school we’d go on runs and everyone would leave me and go back early. I looked back and there was no one.”

Akaashi sat up finding Bokuto’s eyes watching him. 

“But now I look back, and I got you here, and everyone else. And volleyball’s fun again!” 

Akaashi smiled, before it grew bigger, and he found himself grinning. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked away, but glanced back to meet Bokuto’s eyes. 

_Rule number four: never be fully open with anyone._

His chest hammered, and, ignoring those words, he let his wall slip a centimeter for the first time.

“I wouldn’t want to practice with anyone else. You’re the reason I continued volleyball.”

“What?”

Akaashi’s stomach gave a squeeze, and his back flared again in warning. He went to rebuild the wall, but Bokuto got to his knees and stared into his eyes and its construction stopped as Akaashi hung his head. Slowly, the colors began slipping out.  
“I moved to Tokyo from Kyushu, and after some… bad experiences and a less than enthusiastic team I decided I was going to quit. But one tournament, right before I was making my final decision for high school, I saw you playing. You looked so… free, and I decided I wanted to be on a team with you.” 

Akaashi felt his face heat up and immediately wanted to retract his words at the blank expression Bokuto wore. But before his fingers could twist together, Bokuto was grinning and placing his hands over top of Akaashi’s. He leaned in close so there were only a few centimeters between their noses.

“I’m happy you came here. You’re the best partner after all. Next year we’re going to conquer nationals together, you hear me?”

Akaashi’s heart hammered in his chest, but he didn’t pull away. He only stared at Bokuto like he was the only thing that mattered. “Yeah.”

They sat there for a second, neither wanting to pull away. For a second, Akaashi was convinced that Bokuto was going to lean in closer, but then his phone went off.

“Oh sorry, that’s mine.” Akaashi said running to grab his bag. He didn’t miss the way Bokuto’s hair fell as he got up and moved to the corner of the gym. Letting out a small chuckle, he rifled through his bag, moving away a pair of scissors before grabbing his phone. He paled immediately.

“Shit,” he cursed realizing he totally forgot about their dinner date. The call started a second later.

“Keiji—”

“I’m so sorry mom. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” 

“We’ll talk when you get home.”

Akaashi gulped and nodded. He hung up and weighed his options, deciding changing in the gym would be the best way to conserve time. When he pulled off his soaked shirt, he remembered that he wasn’t alone.

“Hey Akaaashi you okay?” Bokuto asked.

Akaashi paled and tried throwing on his shirt quicker, but he had already been caught.

“What happened to your back?”

The scar burned under the weight of Bokuto’s eyes. But when his hand rested on Akaashi’s shoulder blade, he didn’t even flinch. Every voice in his head told him to pull away, to deny everything, to run and get out of there before Bokuto read what it said.

But his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton, and his feet glued themselves in place. 

“Someone attacked me,” he blurted. “It was when I was young. They were upset about their parents and took it out on me.”

_ Please stop staring,  _ he wanted to say but his mouth had closed again. His shirt shook in his hands, and he couldn’t move to put it over his head. This was a terrible mistake.

“Does it hurt?” Bokuto asked. 

“I… yes, no. Not now.”

But it seared under the weight of Bokuto’s gaze. Akaashi shut his eyes and finally calmed himself enough that his body wasn’t seizing.

“Is this a word? That looks like a F, and this one—”

“Can you drop it?” Akaashi whirled around, throwing on his shirt. “It’s nothing, okay?”

“That doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“How about this, I’ll tell you the full story  _ if _ we win nationals next year?” Akaashi said. “What it says, what it means. Okay?”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Deal.”

Akaashi shut back on his wall and didn’t offer a smile or touch Bokuto’s extended hand. His only response was a nod. They weren’t going to win nationals so there wasn’t a reason to worry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))) Well I hope you guys enjoyed this. Next chapter is a biggie huehuehue. Anyways, I hope you all have a great day and stay safe. See you soon :D


	5. Rule #5: Never Let Anyone Find Out You're Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there everyone! So... Haikyuu is ending. I'm crying, I've been crying all week (big sobs). But in the midst of that, I'm still trying to bring something. I hope you guys enjoy this :D

The next year found Fukurodani heading to nationals. The first day they successfully passed and collected three solid wins. 

In between their second day matches, Akaashi sat next to Bokuto as Karasuno and Nekoma’s match began. The familiar faces on the court brought a smile to his lips. Hinata jumped in his normal eccentric fashion, and Kenma seemed to actually be smiling.

Kenma must’ve noticed his gaze because he turned towards him, offering a small bob of his head. Akaashi returned it with a wave just as sheepish. He watched as Kuroo came over to Kenma and exchanged a few words before looking up at the crowd and waving in Bokuto’s direction.

“You better not lose,” Bokuto said, though to which team Akaashi found it unclear.

The match started, and, as the plays continued, Akaashi excused himself to the restroom.

“Tell me if everything that happens when I get back.”

Bokuto nodded, but his eyes were glued to the game. Akaashi’s eyes crinkled, and he turned, weaseling his way past the rest of his teammates with faces full of food. 

Each one talked hurriedly about their next match with Mujinazaka High. They were up against one of the top three aces, Kiryuu. The only one who seemed relaxed about the match up was Bokuto. 

Akaashi’s fingers twisted together every time he heard the school name, but his concern was not Kiryuu. He was a saint compared to the other one.

Making his way along the hallway, Akaashi glanced down at his phone. No new messages. His stomach twisted. Even though  _ his  _ contact had never appeared across the screen in over a year, he still anticipated seeing the name every time he opened the phone.

And now he was going to be—

Akaashi shook his head and fought the urge to twist his fingers together. It would be fine, he had his team with him. Plus  _ he _ wouldn’t say anything, right? Not here. 

His back seared and he vowed to avoid  _ him  _ at all costs.

He didn’t realize his hands were trembling until they reached out to push the door open. It took a second try to finally open it. Luckily, the bathroom was barren.

Taking a second to breath, he let the wall fall over him as he stared into the mirror. No use getting stressed now, his playing would be affected. If they were going to defeat Mujinazaka, he had to have a clear mind especially since they were competing against the master of mind games.

Sighing, Akaashi pulled away from the sink. He had a hand on the door when it swung back hitting his face. He let out a shout as his nose pounded with pain.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” A voice said.

Akaashi held up a hand and nodded; the other pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah I’m fine.” 

“Wait, is that you?” The voice sent hairs standing along Akaashi’s arms. 

Then he was back in the forest. That cage grew around him as his eyes turned upwards to see  _ him _ smiling down. Opening his eyes revealed the same smile. 

“Akaashi?”

“Michiru Usuri.”

The walls closed in around Akaashi. His chest constricted as the distance to the door grew miles upon miles. Even then it was guarded by a monster caging in him. 

He took a step backwards.

“Oh come on Keiji-kun we haven’t seen each other in forever and this is how you’re going to say hello?” Usuri crossed his arms and quirked a brow. 

Akaashi hands clenched. “To be fair, your hello was slamming the door in my face.”

“My my, he’s got some bite to him.”

Usuri leaned back against the door, sneering. 

Akaashi twisted his fingers behind his back.

“I-If you’ll excuse me, I need to—”

“Our match isn’t for another two hours, don’t be like that Keiji-kun. This is our reunion after years! It was awfully hard to get ahold of you after you went to Suzumeoka and quit volleyball.”

Akaashi’s back burned, and he took another step back. Usuri mirrored him, stepping forwards. 

“You’ve been so strange lately. I’ve really been missing our texts. After I failed my essay you disappeared.”

The burning spread to Akaashi’s lungs. “You’re not in control of me.” 

“So Fukurodani really has gotten rid of you manners. What a shame.You seem to be forgetting your place in this whole thing. How I can still tell everyone.”

“You wouldn’t—”

“Keiji-kun you’ve been nothing but mean to me. First you sabotaged me with the essay, then you ghosted me for a year. And after all that you lied to me. I think I deserve some compensation from this. You don’t treat a friend this way.”

“You’re not my friend.”

“Aww so when I call you Keiji your heart doesn’t do little somersaults, anymore?”

“You only make me sick.”

Usuri pouted, but his eyes narrowed.

“I can be your enemy then.”

Akaashi’s back flared as Usuri slammed him into the wall. His hand pressed against his chest, pinning him there.

“I thought maybe we could talk this out and catch up on our misunderstandings. But you’ve been such an ass. You’re forcing my hand. I’m going to have to tell everyone your little secret. Fukurodani sure would like to know their little setter has been  _ lying  _ to them all this time.”

Usuri placed a finger on Akaashi’s mouth, stopping him from speaking.

“I’m sorry, but you’ve done this to yourself.” 

He pushed him against the wall again, harder this time. Pain snaked over Akaashi’s back and he could see Usuri’s brother over him, slamming that knife over and over into his back.

The face morphed into Bokuto’s and his team shifted out of the forest. They cursed at him, spit at him, before throwing him out. And he was alone again. Alone with that label charred into every ounce of his skin.

“Wait!” Akaashi screamed. Ururi paused, a grin crawling over him.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t tell them. I’ll do anything.”

“So you’re remembering where you stand. Good, good,” Usuri said. “Now you say anything? Hmm well there is one thing.”

“I’ll do it.”

Akaashi bowed his head when Usuri said nothing. “Please.”

Usuri placed a finger under Akaashi’s chin, tilting it so he was trapped in the devil’s eyes. “You'll throw our match.” 

Akaashi could not concentrate during Nekoma and Karasuno’s game. He heard Bokuto screaming, but he drowned beside him. There was no way out.

His hands twisted together, trembling while they were pulled at sharp angles. Pain pounded against his back and head, and a few times he swore dark spots swam across his vision. He tried controlling his breathing, but air escaped faster than it came in.

Bokuto tried catching him up on what he missed, but he hadn’t heard a word. His head bobbed as he tried to pretend that he was present and his brain wasn’t trapped in a nightmarish landscape.

But every time he blinked Usuri was there. His brother was there with that knife, and his features turned into Bokuto’s.

He told himself it wasn’t real, that it was all just an illusion. Breath. Keep breathing. But oxygen only lasted so long before his imagination ran again. Reality’s hands crept over him, lodging around his throat and squeezing out every breath he had.

Akaashi didn’t realize that Karasuno and Nekoma’s game was over until Bokuto tugged him out of the stands to congratulate their friends. Even then, he was only able to offer a few words before he felt eyes locked onto him. He whirled around seeing Usuri standing in the corner. His grin sent the world dark.

“Akaaashi let’s get going, our match is about to start,” Bokuto said. “I’m super pumped for this!”

Akaashi felt a tug on his sleeve and a world of color hit his eyes. He shook his head to orient himself. As Bokuto dragged him towards the court he tried taking in deep breaths and dropping the wall over his face. But every time it was constructed, there seemed to be one piece missing and it’d fall apart again.

His hands fumbled with his jacket. Around him his teammates were stretching, ready for the official warmup to start. But he was still trapped to the confines of his coat. He fought the urge to twist his hands and finally shrugged it off.

Akaashi kept his head down, scarcely glancing at his teammates. He fought to keep his face even and his breathing steady. But every time he got comfortable, he’d look across the court, and there  _ he  _ was, chatting like there wasn’t a problem in the world, like he hadn’t just tried to cheat his match.

Twisting his hands together, Akaashi made his way through the warm up. He tried to pull his face down and fill it with blank eyes. He tried to keep his thoughts at bay and fill them with plays. But the decision still hung over him. He hadn’t chosen which path to take. 

Win or lose. 

Both had terrifying outcomes. 

“Akaaashi give it here!” Bokuto said. Akaashi flinched as his brain finally caught up with him. He set the ball almost on top of the net, Bokuto somehow managing to put a hand on it.

“Sorry,” Akaashi said. Bokuto stared at him for a second before shrugging and skipping to the back of the line. Akaashi sighed and set the next ball, his performance as disastrous as before. The ball was far too high for Washio to hit. He just received a look as he apologized again.

The official warm up ended quicker than Akaashi wanted, cutting off right as his toss went too far for Sarukui to reach. He hung his head and chased after the ball. As he reached down, he felt a hot breath above him. 

“I hope we have a good match Keiji-kun,” Usuri said. “Try playing at your worst for me, ‘kay?”

He grabbed the ball next to Akaashi and pushed it into him. Akaashi stumbled away from him, keeping his head down. His body shook, the ball nearly falling from his grasp. Somehow he managed to put it away before it fell out of his grasp. 

“Let’s go line up!” Bokuto said. He bounded to the line with the rest of the team falling in sync. Akaashi hesitated. He licked his lips, twisted his hands, tried clearing his mind and stepped forward. He kept his gaze anywhere but Usuri as he bowed.

“Let’s play!” 

Akaashi didn’t open his mouth. He barely comprehended what Coach Yamiji said, and he found himself thrust onto the battlefield too soon. The court beneath his feet burned at his shoes; he fought every urge to run away. His decision had yet to be made.

Whether he liked it or not, the whistle blew and the game began. Usuri served first, a floater that found its way to Konoha. The ball flashed towards Akaashi, and his brain reeled trying to figure out what to do. 

_ You’ll throw our match.  _

The ball trembled in Akaashi’s hands and somehow it made its way to Onaga, but it got snagged into the block. 

“Sorry!” Onaga said. Konoha and Komi smacked his back reassuring him. 

Akaashi stared at the other side of the net where Usuri grinned. Clenching his fists, Akaashi turned away. Bokuto came up next to him.

“Sorry I was overthinking the whole thing,” he said. 

“Well when you went for the center I also thought ‘oh that’s a good play’ at the time. Guess it was blocked though,” Bokuto said. “I’d expect nothing less from the quarterfinal match… the quarter of the final.” 

Akaashi stared at Bokuto’s smile, and he let out a shaky sigh. 

Usuri’s second serve came, harder than the first and bouncing out of bounds. Akaashi glanced away from him, keeping his head down. 

On their turn to serve, Onaga hit it right to Kiryuu who passed it to Usuri. Bokuto and Washio tightened around Akaashi for the block. When Usuri’s gaze flicked to Akaashi, his movement cut off. Washio and Bokuto were both up in the air while his legs stayed on the ground.

The ball slammed on the other side of the court, and Akaashi glanced back watching as the ball sputtered out. Behind him were Sarukui’s eyes. He looked away.

“Sorry. My body didn’t react for some reason.”

The announcer’s voice filled the air, but it seemed far away as Akaashi’s grip on reality kept slipping. That nightmare kept drifting into his head no matter how hard it shoved it away.

When he turned back around, Usuri closed in on him. The net between them turned into bars.

“Thank you. You’re doing so well. Keep this up and everything goes perfectly.”

Akaashi clicked his tongue and turned away. He could feel Usuri’s scowl burning his back but kept himself steady. 

Kiryuu served next. The slam of the ball on Sarukui’s skin resonated throughout the gym, but they were able to control the ball enough for Washio to get a hit in. The spike was picked up easily. Kiryuu’s attacked, first getting blocked then spiking again from a low ball.

Akaashi took a step towards it, but his back seared traveling to his legs, and the ball slammed against the ground. He tripped and stumbled, barely catching himself before falling.

“I…” Akaashi said. Words escaped him, what was he supposed to say? That he was being blackmailed, and his nightmare was about to become a reality? His team stared at him, and his black flared again in warning.

“Sorry.” He chased after the ball, grabbing it and throwing it to the other side.

The next attacks slammed onto the floor, Kiryuu managing to rack up four points. Akaashi’s messy sets only caught Washio and Bokuto in blocks. No matter how much Akaashi tried to breathe, his hands couldn’t stop trembling. His mind raced in a thousand directions as he scrambled to try and close the gap in points.

Jumping to set, Akaashi swung his hand down, dropping the ball onto the other side. But Usuri was there, stopping his dump and sending it back onto his side of the court. He stared between the ball and Usuri, and a cage fell over his head.

“Nice job,” Usuri said. Akaashi backed up a step and felt his breaths come out unevenly. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to go. Reality had become his nightmare.

Every mistake the pain in his back became sharper and sharper until he winced. But he tried holding his head high, turning to his team.

“I’m sorry. I rushed things a little,”

“That’s okay. Let’s get ‘em with this next one,” Komi said, clapping in his hands. Akaashi averted his eyes from Bokuto and nodded.

The next serve came, picked up cleanly. Akaashi got his hands under the ball, sending it to Onaga. But it flew just above the net.

Onagae managed to get it through, bouncing it off the blockers hands. Akaashi let out a sigh of relief and continued to the next play. He cleared his mind as the ball came towards him, setting it cleanly to Bokuto. The first time all day.

He blew past the block and Usuri. Akaashi stiffened as he watched Usuri glance at Bokuto, before his gaze turned towards him.

“Don’t be doing that,” he mouthed. Akaashi sucked in a breath, and his hands twisted together. 

“Nice kill,” he said.

The next play began, Kiryuu hitting it over. Komi received it cleanly, and Akaashi made his way under the ball. As his fingers touched the ball, a voice appeared beside him

“If you don’t throw this match…”

The ball stopped in his hands, the momentum killed. A tweet echoed through the gym as the ball dropped behind him. The ref raised a hand, calling his foul.

Akaashi’s stomach dropped, and his back seared. The world turned on its edge, everything feeling like it was shattering. Was this going to be the end? 

“I’m sorry,” Akaashi said. His voice became a broken record, repeating the words but never quite working to fix anything. Konoha and Komi exchanged a glance and told him it was okay.

“If Akaashi is having an off day, then why don’t we sub him out for a bit?” Bokuto said.

Akaashi blinked, and looked away. Coach Yamiji spun his hands a moment later, and Akaashi’s control slipped. A divide split through the court, his teammates on one side and him on the other. All because his hands kept slipping, all because his mind was somewhere. All because his secret was on the line. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey you, you’re probably thinking all this stuff like ‘this is a match we definitely can’t afford to lose’ or something yeah?”

Akaashi met his eyes but averted them a second later.

Bokuto smirked. “Well then here is the thing, up until now have you ever thought that it’d be okay if we lost a match?” 

Akaashi blinked at him and stared down at his shaking hands. When he looked back up, Bokuto was still grinning at him.

Win or lose.

A whistle blew, and Akaashi found himself on the outside of the court. He sat between Coach Yamiji and Kaori watching as Usuri sent him a smile and thumbs up. If only he could disappear.

His hands fumbled together as his back burned. That nightmare kept crossing his vision. Bokuto over him with that knife etched into his back.

_ Lose,  _ part of him kept screaming.  _ Lose and you’ll be safe. _

But he stared at Bokuto, his sweat gleaming off of him and that spotlight still somehow on him. He wanted to be out there playing with him, watching as his sets slammed on the other side of the net. 

Losing meant safety, but it also meant the end. No more watching Bokuto, no more hanging out with Konoha, no more laughing with Komi. Next year wouldn’t be the same. This team he stumbled upon, hoping to find someone to connect with, someone he could hang out with, they were all here. 

Akaashi glanced at Usuri. His back seared again, but when he stared at Konoha setting to Sarukui the pain disappeared.

Not yet, he couldn’t lose just yet. 

Leaning back on the bench, he smiled. He let himself grin as he watched Bokuto slam the ball down. Even as Usuri entered his field of vision, his smile didn’t waver. It was like what Konoha said on their first day. He’d become part of that family one way or the other, Bokuto taking the full blame.

Glancing up into the crowd, Akaashi found Kenma. Those words rang through his head again.

_ The choice is yours, but you just might be surprised by how freeing it is. _

And so he let that cage over him slide away. The consequences he could deal with later. Yes, they would be scary. But wounds would heal once he was free. First, though, he had to find that freedom. 

“You good to go?” Coach Yamiji said. The whistle for the end of the set blew, and Akaashi’s hands folded over each other.

“With a star before my eyes, all there is left for me to do is play by his side. The consequences can come later,” he turned towards his coach. “I’m ready to be free.”

Coach Yamiji smiled before turning towards Kaori. “Hey what’s this ‘star’ he’s on about?”

“I’m telling you I haven’t the slightest.”

Akaashi only smiled. Weird, disgusting, whatever other label was given to him he’d take it. As long as he could be with his team for one more match.

When he stepped on the court, he held his chin high. His hands hung at his sides, not a tremble running through them. Konoha slapped him on the back, welcoming to his home. Akaashi grinned and replied his thanks.

Across the net Usuri stared at him.

“Nice going, getting yourself benched. What were you going to say your win was out of your control?”

“I can’t control how they play, but I can control how  _ I  _ play,” Akaashi said. “And I’m not giving up that easily.”

Usuri narrowed his eyes, but before he could open his mouth the referee blew the whistle, and the ball was flying across the court to their side. Kiryuu received the ball. Usuri barely got under it to set it across the court. Akaashi sprang up together with Onaga, attempting to block the ball. It slid past him, but Konoha was there to receive it. 

The ball was off, far too close to the net. Akaashi got under it, and tossed it against the block over him. Rebounding against the hands, the ball flew back to their side of the court. Akaashi stared down Konoha for a second making sure he got under it correctly. Soon the ball was heading towards him again. His eyes scanned the court, and he found his star anticipating an attack. He grinned.

The ball left his hands, bouncing off his fingertips and across the court. Bokuto ran up, strong arms slamming the ball down past the block. 

“Nice kill,” Akaashi said as Bokuto exclaimed.

Bokuto looked up at him and grinned, eyes closing and everything. “Your tosses are the best.”

The pain in Akaashi’s back was gone, and only his stomach fluttered. “Thank you very much.” 

He looked across the court meeting Usuri’s eyes. A smirk twisted his mouth upwards. “Let’s get the next one.” 

Akaashi had never been more exhausted. His muscles screamed and fingers flashed in pain every time he bent them. Breaths fell from his mouth in harsh waves, scraping through his throat and stinging his nose. He winced. But his back never flared even as Konoha slapped him. 

Instead everything else pulsed with pain. One hundred and twenty percent of his being throbbing. But it was worth it.

Akaashi inclined his head to look at the scoreboard. 22-25. He smiled.

Pulling himself up, Akaashi locked his arms around Onaga and Komi, staring into Bokuto’s sweat-sheened face as they all came together.

They yelled in unison, victory ensuring that they’d be together for at least one more round. Akaashi grinned as he yelled with his team, ease spreading over his trembling body.

Pulling away, everyone lined up bowing to the other side. 

“Thank you very much.”

Akaashi followed the line as they shook hands with Mujinazaka. His hand outstretched as he faced Usuri.

“Nice match,” he said.

Usuri wiped his eyes and slapped Akaashi’s hands away. “You’re going to regret this.”

Akaashi froze for a second, but smiled and moved on. Whatever the consequence, he promised himself, he’d deal with it, for they had another game. Another set to play with his friends, another match to set to Bokuto. Regardless of what happened, they would be together, right?

His back burned, but he ignored it counting it only as exhaustion. Or just a casualty of Konoha’s slap. 

Kuroo and Kenma made their way to Bokuto and Akaashi as they left the court. 

“Great job,” Kuroo said. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack there.”

“Well I got to keep all of you interested,” Bokuto said. Kuroo laughed, shaking his head.

“Jeez you’re way too much.”

“Thanks.”

Kenma stared at Akaashi. His eyes glinted under the light of the gym, and Akaashi found that understanding in his eyes again. 

“Was that Usuri guy…  _ him _ ?”

Akaashi blinked. He scratched the back of his head and nodded. “Yeah.”

Kenma took a second before smiling again. “Nice job.”

Akaashi grinned. “Thank you, for everything.”

“No problem. It was you who pushed through anyway.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey Bokuto we gotta go grab our stuff!” Konoha said. “They’re cleaning out the locker rooms after this match.”

“Shoot well, catch you later. C’mon Akaaashi let’s go before Karasuno’s match starts!” Bokuto said.

He practically all but pulled Akaashi out of there. Akaashi gave a sheepish wave to Kenma who returned it. 

The team made their way through the hallways, going down the stairs to the lower area locker room where their bags were stored. Komi caught Bokuto’s attention, and they began talking excitedly about the match. 

As they walked, Akaashi’s heart slammed against his chest. The adrenaline and exhaustion had kept it at bay, but now that he was out of the screams and slams, reality began to wash over him.

His fingers twisted together, but he pushed on, heading to the locker room doors with everyone. Already having his bag with him, he waited outside on the benches. His legs shook as he made his way over. He slumped down, sucking in a long breath and, for the first time all day, felt himself ease. Every muscle sinking down, down, down while a smile etched itself across his lips.

Above him the ceiling stretched higher than it appeared before. The sunlight from the window flashed across the hallway. Clear glass behind him showcased the world outside. Everything was so much brighter than before. 

This was life beyond his wall. All that was left was to tear down the rest. 

A cloud passed through the sky, the world dimming ever so slightly. The threat still hung in the air, but now it was his turn. The ball was in the air, but he could still reach it. He just had to spread his wings and jump.

His chest tightened, but he pushed himself up. He took a step towards the locker room before something caught his arm. Twisting around, he tried to see who it was, but only received a fist to his face. The bench slipped under him and tumbled on the other side of it. Before he could utter a sound, a hand slammed over his mouth.

“You bastard,” Usuri said. “I gave you one thing to do. Damn you were so close too, then you had to go and ruin it just like everything else.”

Akaashi was hoisted into the air by Usuri before receiving another blow to his face. His body snapped back colliding with the wall behind him. He groaned as pain shot through his back. As his eyes shut those three letters flashed across his vision.

But he had no time to think of that as hot spikes drove into his stomach. Usuri’s foot kicked and beat his chest, air leaving him shortly after. He sputtered, trying to catch his breath, but every time the slam of shoe knocked it out again.

Akaashi tried pushing back. His hands thrashed out trying to beat away the cage. But Usuri kept coming, punching, kicking and screaming about how all this was his fault. How if he had listened things would’ve been fine. If he hadn’t been  _ gay  _ then they could’be been friends.

Pain flared against his back again, a warning. A warning about what happened when he didn’t fight back. When he believed the world and compiled. His wall slipped under his grasp, and he let it fall.

“So what?” Akaashi said. He grabbed Usuri’s foot as it slammed down again and pushed against it. “So what if I like guys? That doesn’t make me terrible. It makes me who I am!”

He surged upwards, pushing back against that cage, promising it would never trap him in again. Usuri tripped over the bench, falling against the ground. 

“The only problem here,” Akaashi said. “Is you.”

Usuri’s eyes narrowed. They flashed in warning as Usuri dove his hand into Akaashi’s bag. Akaashi didn’t have any time to process that hint of silver until it was coming towards his face. He let out a cry as the sharp edge of the scissors cut across his cheek. A hand came to rest on the collar of his shirt, and his body began to tremble as he stared at the blade.

“Does this bring back memories?” Usuri asked. “I hope it does. Let’s tattoo that pretty little face of yours as well, huh? Your back is too hidden to show everyone who you truly are.”

Akaashi's face went white, and his back cried in agony. He screamed, thrashing in the other’s grip, but it was of iron. Even when he tried to pull away, even when he used all his strength he still could never have control. Society still pressed him down putting him in his place.

All because he admired guys more than he should. All because he liked guys. All because Bokuto made him feel like he could truly be free.

Usuri’s grasp held strong, and the blade cut across his cheek again. His identity resolved to a single world.

“Fag.”

Akaashi grit his teeth and raised his leg, kicking him away as the blade swiped at his cheek again. Usuri let out a cry as he fell back. He narrowed his eyes and moved forward again. But Akaashi wouldn’t let him take control again. More than one word defined him, and he wasn’t going to let that slur become his being again.

As Usuri surged forwards, Akaashi grabbed him by his shoulders. His muscles burned as he threw him back, sending him toppling against the ground. The scissors fell out of his hands, scattering across the floor and to Akaashi’s feet. He pressed his shoe against it and glared down at Usuri.

“You’re not in control of me anymore,” Akaashi said. “You’re not going to tell me how to live my life.”

Usuri smirked and let out a laugh. “Sure, whatever you say. But the damage is already done.”

Akaashi’s eyes narrowed. “What do you—”

“Akaashi?”

A quiet voice broken through Akaashi’s mind. When he looked up the world fell away, and those golden eyes were the only thing that existed. Usuri disappeared, the scissors disappeared...

“Bokuto-san.”

His eyes roamed over Akaashi, locking onto his cheek. He looked between him, the scissors, and Usuri before his lips curled upwards.

“You—”

Akaashi threw out an arm.“Stop!” he said. “He’s not worth our time.”

Usuri stood and glared. Akaashi stayed steady. His chin tilted upwards as the other drew back his lip.

“Don’t get so cocky, faggot,” Usuri said. He locked eyes with Bokuto before glancing back at Akaashi. “No one will ever love your kind.”

Ice tore through Akaashi’s stomach, eating its way through his body. His face drained and his stomach clenched. A tremor rose through him, and his hands pulled against each other. 

The ground became his friend as the sound of footsteps echoed through the corridor. Someone yelled distantly, but it was too far off. Something touched his arm, but his senses were gone.

“Akaashi, Akaashi!” A voice was talking, but he couldn’t answer. 

Weakness spread across his limbs, and his legs gave way. His body curled in on itself, trying to rebuild the wall he’d torn down. But it was gone. This was him. 

_ And Bokuto knew.  _

“Akaashi, hey, look at me. You should probably get your cheek checked out. It’s bleeding,” Bokuto said. “A lot.”

Akaashi blinked and finally raised his head. Furrowed eyebrows and face far too close greeted him. He moved backwards. 

Bokuto opened and closed his mouth. He looked away as he set it into a tight line. With a blink of his eyes, he looked back again at Akaashi. This time his brow was curved and his eyes crinkled. His lips were spread and began to move.

“I—”

“Akaashi is this,” a voice cut through the air. “True?”

When Akaashi looked up, his eyes were greeted with the sight of his team. Onaga gawked at him. Komi eyed Bokuto’s close presence. Sarukui just kept blinking, like a robot malfunctioning. And Konoha... 

Konoha looked like Akaashi had just said he hated him.

In his hands his phone showed an online post. Akaashi only needed to see one word to know what it was about. 

The cage was gone, his wall too. This was who Akaashi had always been. This was his choice. Now he had to deal with the consequences. 

His body began to tremble.

“I…” There weren't any words that could erase those faces. There wasn’t anything to erase those faces.

_ You’re disgusting.  _ Those were the first words he heard when he came out. And now those were the looks he received as he came out a second time.

Two years. Two years, and he thought he could be on a team. He thought he could have friends. He thought he could like a guy. He thought he wasn’t disgusting.

_ Rule number five, never let anyone find out you're gay.  _

The rules, he should’ve followed the rules.

Closing his eyes, he let his face fall into neutral. His blank eyes met those of the players of Fukurodani.

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

Then he stood and ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something as in something sad huehuehue. Anyways if anyone wants to scream with me about Haikyuu's ending, please do so. I need more closure (sob sob sob). My instagram is jul.inm if anyone wants to hit up my inbox. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed this, please stay safe and I hope to see you soon.


	6. Rule #6: Never Let Anyone Find Out You're Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there! The manga has ended and I is happy and sad, but these hands won't stop writing for Haikyuu. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

The air outside was still crisp. Cold rippled through Tokyo as players and spectators hurried into the gymnasium for cover. Besides them, the streets outside the Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium were sparsely populated.

Akaashi sprinted in the other direction, nearly colliding with the swarms of people making their way inside the building. He didn’t offer any apologies even after a man called out. He just kept running far far away.

People disappeared around him when his lungs began to ache. The buildings around him were tall and ever changing, but he didn’t have time to stop and notice. Only when his legs stumbled did he give himself rest. 

Above him stood a store, the name Lawson painted across the front. He looked at the slope of the building and ducked behind it into a vacant alleyway. His back pressed against the wall as he tried catching his breath. 

Pain twisted through his legs, snaking through his chest and entering his lungs in a dull pounding. He squeezed his eyes shut as his back pounded, trying to sedate it to some degree. But as the wind cut across his face, the only answer to his plea was a stinging across his cheek.

Raising a hand, he felt blood still lingering on his face. He wiped at it, wincing as his fingers grazed his cut. His hand came away, and he stared at the red pigment stained into his palm. 

“Ha,” he said. Shaking his head, he slumped to the ground. Palms pressed into his eyes, suppressing any tears that wanted to leak out.

“How foolish of me?”

Why had he thought things were going to end differently this time? Nothing had changed. He still was gay, and everyone still hated that. So why had he thought telling them would go well?

His cheek burned, and he pressed his palm against it. The words on his back that he tried to fight for years crept over him. They felt right for once like that knife was always meant to scar them into him. 

_You’re disgusting._

_You ruin everything._

Akaashi laughed. He laughed until his lungs emptied, and he could only choke on cold air. He laughed until tears streamed down his face. They were like little coals burning his frozen skin. But for once he didn’t flinch. He didn’t move. He just kept laughing like the idiot he was.

Whether he liked it or not, all of his cards had fallen. His wall was gone, and his teammates had seen the real him. And none of them had gone after him. They only stared like he was a stranger. Akaashi twisted his hands together.

He never listened and got shot down chasing his dream. The world wasn’t kind to people like him. People who were gay. People who were disgusting. People who were _wrong._

Every pain in his body was his fault, for he woke up and liked someone he shouldn’t. Society had rules, _he_ had rules, and it was his choice not to follow them. And here were the consequences. The cost of freedom.

Their eyes seared through his mind, the pain brighter than the slice on his cheek and deep scars on his back. Years gone with one message, with one article, with one word.

_Gay._

“Hey,” a voice cut though his thoughts. Akaashi startled, trying to get away, but his body was too weak to move. Cold froze his limbs shut and pain immobilized him. He could only turn away from Bokuto.

“I brought you some ice and bandaid for your cheek. I figured it wasn’t feeling too good and all,” he said. Crouching down, he offered the ice pack and bandaid to Akaashi. 

Akaashi stared the supplies. They looked so foreign. His hands shook, twisting into one another instead of reaching out. 

“Why?” Akaashi breathed.

“Hmm?”

“Why?”

Bokuto blinked. “What do you mean ‘why’? You’re hurt and I don't want you in pain.”

“But…” 

Akaashi’s mind raced, and he looked over Bokuto’s face. Why was his face the same? Why wasn’t he disturbed? Why was he _here?_

“I don’t understand,”

“I can put the bandaid on if you—”

“No!” Akaashi said. “Why are you here? Why the hell do you care? Don’t I…”

His voice choked. 

“Disgust you?”

Bokuto blinked again and cocked his head to the side. “Why would you disgust me? The only thing gross about you is that blood on your cheek and maybe your gym bag.”

Akaashi stared at him. Those golden eyes caught the light of the faded sun, shimmering. A smile tore at his cheeks, and Akaashi shuddered. His heart hammered in his chest and he looked away, his back flaring in warning.

“But I’m _gay._ ”

“And? Your cheek is still hurt, and you’re still in pain,” Bokuto said. “Besides, regardless of who you like you’re still Akaashi.”

The pain in his back muted as Bokuto sat next to him. He fumbled with the bandaid, trying to get it open. And Akaashi couldn’t stop staring. He pinched himself, making sure this was reality. That he had heard him correctly. That he wasn’t going insane, and his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. But Bokuto smiled next to him like he did everyday. 

“I still don’t…” Akaashi said. “Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s true. You’re still the same Akaashi that I got up with morning, the same Akaashi I hung out with all day, and the same Akaashi we won against Mujinazaka with. Your tosses are still the best, though today they were kinda bad. But nothing’s changed except I know you like guys now.”

“But don’t I make you uncomfortable?”

“You never made me uncomfortable before, why would you now?”

Akaashi wasn’t sure if he was more surprised by what Bokuto had said, or by the fact he just lost an argument with Bokuto. He stared at his hands twisted together, and, slowly, he pulled them apart.

“Now will you let me put this bandaid on your cheek.”

Akaashi looked at him, and nodded. Bokuto’s warm hands pressed against his face, and he leaned into the touch ever so slightly. He stared at Bokuo’s face, looking so determined as he placed the bandaid on the cut. Every muscle in his body eased, and he smiled. 

He threw his arms around Bokuto, getting a surprised sound. And for the first time, he grinned as big as he could. Every single color inside of him, he let it show. 

“Bokuto-san,” he said. “Thank you.”

Bokuto wrapped his arms around him. His hand brushed against his back, and the pain disappeared. Under Bokuto’s arms, he finally felt what it meant to be free.

“It’s no problem, Akaashi.”

As the two pulled away, Akaashi realized tears were coming down his face. He brushed them away before letting out a small laugh. Bokuto grinned at him, hooking an arm around him.

“C’mon let's get back before Karasuno’s match starts.”

“Of course.”

_The choice is yours, but you just might be surprised by how freeing it is._

Akaashi couldn’t stop fidgeting. His hands twisted together, and he kept glancing at Bokuto trying to tell himself to calm himself down. If Bokuto accepted him, he was sure the rest could too. But that didn’t make opening the door to the hotel room any more easy.

After his breakdown with Bokuto, he’d spent the rest of the day clinging to his side. Bokuto seemed to take the hint, somehow, and hadn’t interacted with the rest of Fukurodani. Instead they watched as Hinata caught a fever, and Karasuno lost to Kamomedai. With the snap of their fingers, it seemed, they were eliminated.

Akaashi had tried not to think about their match the following day, for if Karasuno had lost he didn’t know how well they would hold up, especially now. 

“We’re gonna win ‘em all tomorrow,” Bokuto said. “Just you watch!” 

But by the lack of teammates around them, Akaashi wasn’t so sure. His hands twisted together, but didn’t pipe up about the current state of their team. That being, if anyone even could play with him anymore.

However, Akaashi promised himself he would see the consequences through. He won, he got to stand on the court longer with his teammates, and it was his responsibility to fix it. Although he couldn't control his teammates would react, he finally would open his mouth and say the words he’d been holding back for two years.

Granted, that didn’t keep himself from twisting his fingers in harsh angles and shivering.

_Rule number six: never tell anyone you’re gay._

But he held his chin high and his eyes steady. Bokuto eyed him before grinning and slapping him on his back.

“You sure are intense today.” 

“Well I have to at least pretend to be confident.”

Bokuto’s eyes softened. “No matter what happens I got your back. You’re always going to be Akaaashi no matter what anyone says, got it?”

Akaashi smiled and nodded. Sucking in a breath, he pushed the door open. 

The room was full of chatter one second, and the next nothing moved. Only the whirling night air sounded. 

Nine pairs of eyes were on him as he shut the door behind Bokuto. He licked his lips as his back burned. Every muscle in his body tightened, that nightmare drifting through his head. Under those eyes, he felt naked, bare, exposed. But even with his wall gone he kept his fingers apart and smiled. 

“I must offer you guys an explanation about today and, well, the past two years,” he said. No one returned his words. His hands trembled, but he smiled through it. 

“What you heard is true,” he said. “I’m gay.”

The stares didn’t waver. They were like Kenma’s gaze all over again, pulling apart every piece of him. There was nothing to cover himself anymore. His wall tumbled, and his colors were out there on full display. He just hoped they weren’t too blinding.

“I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me. So, I’m sorry for hiding that all this time.”

He moved to bow, but before he could incline an inch forward, a voice cut through the air. 

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Komi said. “It’s your choice to tell us, so don’t feel bad for keeping that a secret.”

Akaashi stopped, eyes flashing towards him. Komi eased back, a faint smile pressed against his lips.

“My little brother came out last year. I heard how hard it was,” he said. “And I’m glad you trust us enough to say that.”

“You… I…” Akaashi’s mouth opened and closed as words stumbled forth. They fell to the ground, but were caught by two grins. 

“You’ve always been a pillar of support for us,” Washio said. “We just have to return the favor now.”

Sarukui nodded alongside him, grinning. “It’s nice to hear that from you and not some rando on the internet,” he said. “But thanks for saying that. We’ve got your back.” He held his thumbs up.

“What he said,” Onaga added. “No one’s bringing down our setter.”

“You know,” Konoha said. “When you first came here I didn’t understand why you were so quiet. At first I thought you were just one of those calm and collected guys. But it makes sense now.”

He laughed, staring Akaashi directly in his eyes. “You don’t need to keep it down any longer. No matter what, we’re here.” 

“You guys…”

Hot streams fell across Akaashi’s cheeks. The tears burned the cut, but it felt distant and far away. All that mattered was every smile he received. Every person who wrapped their arms around him. His team became his world.

“I was so scared,” Akaashi said. He sobbed into his teammates shoulders, earning a murmurs from around him. Slowly, his heaving eased and he pulled away, swiping at the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I thought you guys would hate me. Last time I came out,” he said. “Was scarring.” 

Before Akaashi could second guess himself, he pulled his shirt over his head and turned to face his back towards his team. A sharp gasp echoed over the room as everyone stiffened. 

“This word became my identity for years. A _fag,_ Someone rejected by society. Someone disgusting,” he said. “But when I’m with you guys I don’t feel that. I’m a part of something. I’m normal like everyone else. A rule for once, not an exception. So thank you. For everything.”

Even with everything exposed, even with everything out in the open, even with everything feeling so new and different, he felt at ease like this was who he was supposed to be. For the first time in his life, he felt truly free.

The lights were blinding; the moment of silence deafening. Akaashi watched as the ball lost its momentum and stopped. He turned to Bokuto who stared at the other end of the court where his spike had just gone through. They met eye contact before grinning.

Cheers and screams filled the air as Fukurodani secured their fifteenth point of the fifth set. 

Akaashi threw his arms around Bokuto and Konoha, each screaming. His face felt hot as tears melted in with the sweat pouring from every inch of his face. The cut on his cheek was numb to the pulse in his veins and adrenaline fueling his body.

Ichibayashi had been a hard opponent. Powerful spikes, solid receives and overall a great foundation. But when Akaashi stepped onto the court with his team, there seemed to be some deeper connection with everyone. He could feel every single teammate there beside him, all of them working together. 

Win or lose.

The choice that led him here because he couldn’t give up. He wanted to stand on with his team longer. And here he was at the finish line. 

Akaashi felt a sob rack through his body as they all gathered together. The lights overhead seemed like a spotlight over them. The world was on their side.

They lined up again, thanking the other team for the game. 

Akaashi couldn't wipe the grin off his mouth. Despite the article, despite being outed, despite revealing the most fragile piece of information about himself, here he was standing at the end. Victors. Winners. Champions.

He’d always thought that freedom was a dream, something he could see in others but never have for himself. There was society, then there was him living on the cusps of it. No matter how hard he forced himself inside, he couldn’t fit.

But after everything. Every word, every tear, every blow, he’d fought for his own part in all of it. And society embraced him. His teammates played with him. His teammates bent their worlds to fit him. And in the end, they could all stand at the finish line and say they made it.

Society had rules. Akaashi had rules.

But some rules were meant to be broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DDDDDD I hope you guys enjoyed this, and I hope to see you soon for the next two. Stay safe everyone :D


	7. Rule #7: Never Confess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there everyone!! We're back with the second to last chapter, and I hope all you enjoy it!!! Also I will have some news in the ending notes if you want to check those out!! Anyways I hope you enjoy!

The trophy was the last thing remaining in the club room. Every bag had been cleared out and most of the trash, surprisingly, picked up, though there still was a stain from Bokuto’s protein shake. Akaashi had spit it out after he’d been coaxed into drinking it. 

Next to the club room, the doors to the gym were still open. Practice had been over for an hour but that didn’t stop balls from flying across the room.

“Akaaashi give it here!” Bokuto said. Akaashi glanced at him, scanning the other side of the court where Komi and Konoha waited. The ball bounced off his fingers, flying right where it needed to go. Bokuto slammed the ball down past Washio’s block where it hit just inside the line.

“Look at how amazing that was. Hey hey hey!” Bokuto said. Akaashi smiled and slapped his hand when he stuck it out for him.

“Hey don’t get cocky. You guys just caught up to us,” Konoha said.

“Then let’s get the next one,” Akaashi said. He held out the ball for Bokuto. “Get in a nice serve.”

Bokuto grinned and took the ball. Akaashi watched as he got on the line and threw the ball up in the air. And just like that his star was flying.

The ball slammed onto Komi’s arms, bouncing off to the corner.

“Service ace!” Sarukui said. He gave Bokuto a high five. 

“That’s the last one you’re getting in,” Komi said. 

“Well then pick up this one.”

Bokuto’s serve bounced off Komi’s arms again, but this time he received it straight to Konoha. He set it, and Washio slammed past Bokuto’s block.

“Gotcha!” Komi said.

“It was one point. C’mon Akaaashi let’s get the next one.”

“Of course.”

Hours passed and by the time everyone was plastered across the floor in exhaustion, the sun had set. Akaashi lay across the floor panting as he stared up at the high ceiling. Beside him, Bokuto was slumped over, chest heaving. Konoha, Komi, Sarukui and Washio were in similar states across the court. 

No one said anything as they laid there, time slipping through their fingers. They sat memorizing every little detail about the lights overhead and floorboards beneath them.

“To think that we’d go this far,” Konoha said. “The first time I saw Bokuto I thought we were going to lose every match.” 

“Hey, I’m not bad!”

“No, you just don’t have a brain.”

“That’s not true—”

“Sorry Bokuto-san, it is.”

“Akaaashi you’re supposed to back me up here.”

“No one can save you from that,” Sarukui said. 

“You guys are so mean.”

“Hey it’s fair from what we’ve had to put up with the last three years,” Komi said. The atmosphere turned thick. It clouded over Akaashi’s face, and he wondered if it was only sweat clinging to his eyelashes. 

“Three years, huh?” Washio said. “They’ve gone by so fast.”

“I’m happy I got to play with each of you,” Komi said. “You guys are really impressive.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted another team,” Konoha nodded. “Even with Bokuto.”

“Hey!”

Laughter rumbled through the gym. 

“Hey Akaashi, you hold down the fort next year. Don’t let them get away with too much,” Konoha said.

“Also if you have any trouble with the newbies, we got your back,” Washio said.

Akaashi grinned and nodded. “Of course. Though I think I can handle them now.”

Everyone looked at him and matched his smile. 

“Thank you for everything you guys have done. I,” Akaashi said. “I’m going to miss you guys.”

Before the last choked word came out, the gym was filled with sobs. The net diving them disappeared as arms were tangled between one another, tears soaked into shirts, and promises were shared.

“It’s not the end,” Washio said. “We’re still together wherever we go, we got each other’s backs. Got it?”

Akaashi nodded his head, and, slowly, reluctantly, everyone pulled apart. Komi and Konoha stood in the doorway as Washio and Sarukui collected their bags. Akaashi changed in the corner, pulling his shirt over his head and changing into another T-shirt. They all met at the entrance, looking out at their home. The high rooves, the two courts, the memories. Then the door was shut.

“See you guys soon!” Washio and Sarukui said, splitting from the group with waves. 

Konoha and Komi left together, promising to meet over their break. And that left Akaashi and Bokuto.

“We should get—”

“I stole a volleyball,” Bokuto said. “Can you give me a few more tosses?”

Akaashi licked his lips and stared at his star still burning so bright. Under the moonlight it still looked like a spotlight was on him.

“Sure.”

And there, right in front of the gym, right in front of Akaashi’s home, Bokuto slammed the ball down again and again. 

“You’re going pro?” Akaashi asked as Bokuto slammed down another ball.  
“Yep,” he said as he went to retrieve it. “In a few years at least. I’m playing in college first, then I’m going to try out!”

“I’ll make sure to see your games.”

“Really?”

Akaashi nodded.

“You’re the best. I’m sad that you won’t be tossing for me though.”

Akaashi set the ball and that grin flew across Bokuto’s face. His cheeks warmed.

“Just call me whenever you want a toss.”

“Sweet, I’m definitely going to have to take you up on that offer.”

Akaashi watched as Bokuto reached down and picked up the ball. His muscles rippled as he crouched down. When he turned around, those golden eyes made the world stop. A grin crept over Akaashi’s face. He didn’t try to stop it.

“Hey, didn’t you make a promise to me?” Bokuto asked. “Something about telling me the story of your back?”

“I already told you.”

“But you  _ promised! _ ”

“And I told you.”

Bokuto stared down at the ball in his hands, his lip jutting out. Suddenly he looked up: that flash of eyes warming Akaashi’s heart. He licked his lips.

“Then can you tell me something else?” Bokuto asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Tell me something you haven’t told anyone else.”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because you promised you would.”

“I said I would tell you about my scar,  _ not  _ any other embarrassing secrets.”

Bokuto’s grin sparkled, and Akaashi’s retna’s burned. The smack of the ball on the ground carried through the night together with the whoosh of wind from Bokuto’s arm.

“Aha! You do have something you’re hiding.”

Akaashi’s hands twisted together. Heat spread over his face and coiled in his stomach. A glance at Bokuto made it grow, sending a stream of hot butterflies through him.

“It’s nothing.”

“Akaaashi you  _ promised!  _ And it’s our last night together.” 

“Didn’t I just say—”

“Light night as  _ high schoolers, _ ” Bokuto said. “There’s nothing you need to hold back.”

“Well then,” Akaashi said. “Fine, there is something I should tell you. I know you probably don’t feel the same way but...”

He licked his lips and twisted his hands before releasing them. 

“I like you Bokuto-san.” 

Crickets echoed between them. 

“I mean I think you should if,” understanding flashed through his eyes. “Oh you mean like  _ like. _ ”

Akaashi looked away as red tore through his face. “Yeah like that. Though I know, you don’t feel the same way.”

“But I do.”

The world stopped moving, and the moon’s spotlight expanded. Golden eyes met Akaashi’s. Electricity struck him.

“I like you Akaashi.” Bokuto paused. “I mean like  _ like. _ ”

“Wait what?” Akaashi questioned. “I thought you liked girls.”

Bokuto laughed nervously. “Yeah well, I didn’t want the pro or collegiate league to know. They could cut me out, and that wouldn’t have been good.”

Akaashi blinked. He saw Bokuto’s first match in his mind. The way he played, how he interacted with everyone. Free. Wasn’t he free?

“You… hid it?”

Bokuto nodded. “I’m sure you know how it feels. But when you came out, somehow anything felt possible. Seeing you put yourself out there, it was eye opening.”

“Why didn’t you say anything when I came out?”

“Because it was important to you and I didn’t want to get in the way. It took a lot of courage to come out, and I didn't want to mess that up.”

“Besides, the spotlight can be shared sometimes.”

Akasahi snorted and shook his head. 

“You’re really something, Bokuto-san.”

“That’s why you like me?”

“Yeah.”

Akaashi twisted his hands once more before continuing. “You know if you don’t want to date because of your career—”

“No I do,” Bokuto said. “I really like you Akaashi. Thank you for giving me the confidence to come out, even if it’s just to you for now. But I want to tell everyone. I’m ready to be like you.” 

The world finally began to spin again as Akaashi threw his arms around Bokuto. His hands brushed against Akaashi’s scar, but he felt nothing except his pounding heart and lightness in his stomach. When he looked up, Bokuto was still there, shimmering in all the light of the moon.

“I would love that Koutarou.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I've ever written two characters getting together... romance is interesting. Anyways, for the news I have, I will be participating in Bokuaka week and am currently outlining everything! The first day (July 31st) I will be releasing the last part of this then it's a week of one-shots! I hope you guys check that out and have a great day!! Stay safe :DDDDD


	8. Rule #8: Make Sure You Propose Before He Does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there! Here we are, at the end. I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter!!

“So you got permission?”

“Yep.”

Udai whistled. “I’m kinda surprised they would allow that.”

“Well you know they can’t say no to him.”

“But they can say no to you.”

“I guess they wanted the publicity.”

“That’s true.”

Akaashi made his way to his seat with Udai beside him. Onigiri rested in his lap with the rest of his bag beside him. His coat pocket brushed the ground from the small contents inside. Around them the Sendai Gymnasium was packed, people flocking from everywhere to watch the division one match between the Schweiden Alders and the MSBY Black Jackals.   
In the entrance, Akaashi had met some old opponents and friends. His phone was blowing up as always as his old teammates texted him about the upcoming match.

**Good luck** , Konoha and Komi had sent in separate texts.

It had been five years since they had last played together in high school. Three of them had ended up playing professionally: Washio, Onaga, and Bokuto. Konoha, Komi, and Sarukui found other jobs outside the realm of sports, Akaashi as well. After attending university, he began working as an editor for a weekly shounen manga company. Although he wanted to edit for a literary magazine, he enjoyed the company of the people he had met there, namely Udai Tenma. He’d played volleyball years before Akaashi, and on occasion the two would play together with old friends.

All the while, Akaashi had been following Bokuto through all his collegiate and professional excursions. From his first match to the one currently starting, he had only missed a handful. Before and after he always received barrages of texts from Bokuto about them. Every game, without fail, Bokuto ran up to him, or called him, and flew into his arms. Camera’s on or not he continued his tradition.

In his third year of college, Bokuto came out. Akaashi had been there that day, and, in front of dozens of players and coaches, he announced they were boyfriends. A year later he found himself in the MSBY Black Jackals with a rabid fanbase chasing his tail of both boys and girls. Even Akaashi’s social media accounts found themselves with thousands of followers. Every now and then he got a message about someone thanking him for speaking up and how it helped make that person feel less alone.

When Bokuto came out, Akaashi had told him a thousand times that he didn’t need to. 

“You don’t have to come out just to impress me. I don’t want to influence your decision,” Akaashi said.

“But Keiji,” Bokuto said. “I  _ want  _ to say something, so I can inspire people like you did.”

One voice can open many, but it just takes the courage to speak. That first dominio in the chain of many. Akaashi never thought that two words could cause such a reaction, one that was  _ good.  _ But here they were with the whole world on Bokuto’s side.

Granted there were those who didn’t approve of him, but Bokuto didn’t seem to care about them. His support squad was always there raising him up. While Akaashi took the backlash worse, he had Bokuto there comforting him every step of the way, and his squadron ready with their fingers to tell off any harsh comments. 

And just like, coming out for the third time found himself with even more support than the second time. 

Akaashi glanced down at his pocket and felt his chest flutter. The fourth time approached. 

“What are you two going to do after this?” Udai asked. “This is the last game in their season after all.”

“He said he wanted to go to Rio with me,” Akaashi said. “Something about wanting to learn like Hinata.”

“Ah, I see,” Udai said. “That’ll be good for you two. When was the last time you took a day off?”

“I can still edit from Rio.”

Udai laughed. “Of course you would say that. Just don’t tire yourself out too much, actually take your vacation with him.”

“Well if it is up to him, I don’t think I’m going to have much of a choice. He’ll kill me if I stare at my computer for too long.”

“That’s my guy.”

Suddenly, the arena went dark and the announcer's voice filled the air. They introduced the match and its placement as the last in the season. 

“After an upsetting loss at the beginning of the season, it will be interesting to see if the Schweiden Alders can win this one.” 

Akaashi leaned back in his chair as they continued with the introductions. It seemed like yesterday the season had started, and now they were at the end. Everything flew by so fast. He blinked and five years were gone. Here he was, outside the court but still feeling like he was on it at the same time.

After the Schweiden Alders were called, Akaashi inclined himself forward to hear the MSBY Black Jackals lineup. He laughed as Bokuto made his way across the court, flipping in his usual fashion. 

“It’s all a show for him, isn’t it?” Udai asked.  
“Yep. He’s grown up, but never really lost his urge to show off,” Akaashi said. “He practices his routine at home. I can’t tell you the amount of times I almost called an ambulance.”

“Why does that not surprise me.”

The rest of the team was announced and the official warm up began. Akaashi managed to catch one of the balls they threw out before the game but gave it to the kids sitting near them. His room in their shared apartment was littered from floor to ceiling with them. Sometimes he got scared opening the door thinking they would all fall out and spread out over the kitchen. 

As the clock ticked down to zero for the end of the official warmups, Bokuto looked up into the crowd. His eyes locked on Akaashi’s and he waved. Akaashi felt his face warm and shrunk down, waving at him nonetheless.

Bokuto grinned, but before he could embarrass Akaashi further, Meian, the team’s captain, pulled him away. He yelled at him and Akaashi was pretty sure he said something about kissing his boyfriend later. Shaking his head, he laughed to himself.

“Is that Bokuto’s boyfriend?” A voice said a few rows down. Akaashi tilted his head to where two guys sat below. The world seemed to slow as he stared down at the familiar faces. They had barely changed since that day nine years ago.

“It couldn’t be… Akaashi?”

He froze at the sound of his name, and stilled even further when the two made their way up the stands to where they sat. 

“Who are they?” Udai asked.

“They’re—”

“Hey Akaashi, it’s been a while hasn’t it?” Usuri said. Next to him stood a man with round eyes like his brother. Michiru and Giichi Usuri. 

Akaashi fought the urge for his fingers to twist together and nodded to them.

“It definitely has. How have you guys been?”

“Pretty good. I just got out of university and my brother’s been working for a computer startup for the past three years. What have you been up to?”

“Working with him as an editor for a shounen manga company,” Akaashi said. He nudged Udai with his shoulder.

“Udai Tenma, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well. I’m Michiru Usuri, and this is my brother Giichi.”

Udai nodded, and shot Akaashi a look. He looked away before meeting Michiru Usuri’s eyes. 

“I hope both of you enjoy my boyfriend’s match,” Akaashi said. Giichi’s eyes narrowed and he took a step forward, but Michiru stopped him.

“We will,” he said. “It’s good to see you.”

“You as well.” 

They turned to leave before Giichi stopped and gave a look back at Akaashi then Michiru. He met Akaashi’s eyes over his shoulder and nodded before they took their leave. They wound back to the same seats, in front of Akaashi and Udai.

“So that’s  _ him _ . The one who outed you?” 

Akaashi nodded before smiling. “That’s the one thing I’m thankful he did. Afterall, I got a boyfriend because of him.”

Udai laughed. “He was probably scared when he heard about that.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? All I know is that I’m fortunate he outed me.”  
Udai gave him a look before nodding. “You really are weird.”

“You’re not the first to say that.”

“I’m just making sure you know.”

“Thank you then.”

By the time Akaashi turned his attention back towards the court, the Jackals had gotten a lead of 12-10. Lucky for him, he looked down to see Bokuto slam a ball on the other side of the court right past the blockers. It hit straight on the line. The score turned 13-10.

As the sets ticked up and plays flew by, Akaashi cheered with the crowd. He laughed with them, clapped with them (and Bokuto), and complained with them. At certain volleys, he would exchange commentary with Udai. Most of it was just amazement for everyone moved.

When the fourth set drew to a close, each team collecting two sets, his pocket became heavy. The small contents felt massive as he stared at the camera crew filming the match. If he didn’t still have his Onigiri in his hands, they would be twisting together. But when he glanced down at Bokuto, the urge disappeared. His star still shined, the lights above coming down on Bokuto like a spotlight.

How lucky he was.

“Well you should get ready,” Udai said. “You have some rice on your cheek. I don’t know if you want everyone to see that.” 

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Thanks for letting me now. I’ll be right back, I’m going to the bathroom.”

He had his way through the sea of people to the empty room. Pulling down a paper towel, he wet it and scrubbed at his face. When he looked up, his reflection stared back. The man before him grinned, eyes sparkling in a sea of color. He pulled away, throwing the paper towel in the trash can. From his pocket, he fished out the small box. Staring at for a second, he pushed the door open. On the other side, Usuri caught it before it could slam into his face.

Akaashi froze before shaking his head. 

“Oh I’m sorry about that,” he said. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Usuri said. “You’re fine.”

Akaashi moved to let him pass, but Usuri stood stiff. Following his eyesight, Akaashi looked down and felt his stomach quease.

“Hey, about a couple years ago. I know what I did was wrong, I shouldn’t have hurt you or outed you. Even with my dad I had no excuse,” Usuri said. “So, I’m—”

“Don’t apologize,” Akaashi said. “What you did was wrong, yes, but I’m happier now. A lot of people are happier now because of what you did. If you know it isn’t right, then that’s all I need to hear anyway.”

Usuri stiffened. His muscles tensed as he looked up, but they relaxed as he nodded. HIs eyes flicked to down, and he smiled.

“Good luck,” he said. 

Akaashi returned his smile and placed a hand on Usuri’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

They met eyes before Akaashi turned and left. 

When he appeared on the lower level of the gym, the score was 15-15, neither team willing to give up the match. Akaashi leaned against the wall beside him. Before him Bokuto ran up, slamming the ball across the court. One more point to go, then…

Akaashi held his breath as Bokuto served, muscles rippling as his hand smacked the ball. Ushijima picked it up on the other side and passed it to Kageyama. He set it to Hoshiumi who nearly slammed it down, but Hinata was able to get under it and receive. The ball flew off course, but Atsumu was under it. And Bokuto was there, in the air slamming it on the hands of the blocks. Flying through the air, the ball bounced once before landing in Akaashi’s hands. A wipe. And the victors were chosen.

Win or lose.  
It was that simple.

Akaashi took a step forward, tossing the ball to the ref as the Jackals celebrated. The stadium was full of cheering. Screams shook the building and its foundation. But all of that disappeared as the announcer came over the loudspeaker.

“Before we conclude the game we have a special guest who wants to say a few words.”

Around him, thousands of eyes fell on Akaashi. His hand grasped the box in his pocket, and he grinned. Bokuto turned to look at him as he made his way across the court. Every pair of eyes fell away. 

With his star before him, he thought he could do anything. He could play volleyball, he could be open, and he could be free. No matter how different he was from everyone else, he was still himself. And the world was going to have to deal with that.

“Koutarou, you've been with me for the past seven years of my life,” Akaashi said. “And It’s because of you I’m able to stand here today. You showed me what freedom was, and I want to continue that freedom with you. Forever. So I ask.”

He knelt down and in front of Usuri, in front of his friends, in front of the world he let every single color inside him flow out into Bokuto’s.

“Will you marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNNNNDDDDDDDD that's a wrap!! (Yes I know two men can't legally get married in Japan ;^; but something tells me that wouldn't stop Bokuto) Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed this and thank you for sticking through this whole journey!!! I must head back to the writing cave for Bokuaka week, but again I give one giant thank you to everyone who read this, liked, commented, and just enjoyed it! I hope to see you soon and stay safe!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. I will be updating this story every Monday. The story is already written but is in the process of being revised. I hope to see you all again soon, stay safe everyone!


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